| Posted On: | 2010-06-29 13:17:10 |
"Oh she's a good kid, a really good kid." I hear my mother chatting on the phone in the kitchen.
I try to ignore it all, her voice, dripping with a fake happy tone.
When she speaks to me I hear the disappointment in her unappreciative voice. She thinks because I'm a child I don't deserve respect, I don't know anything. I bet you my life savings (which are probably gone by now courtesy of her) that I know 10 time more then her. I may not have an aged body or face like her, but my mind has devoured more information then hers could ever take. No matter what she says I know I'm special, and not some puppet she can order around like fucking Cinderella.
"Yeah she's in law. For the governor general." I hear her continue on about my cousin.
"I'm so proud of her. I mean her and her sisters where like my first kids, and I'm just so proud of them." She continues to praise everyone but me.
I'm her bloody child and she doesn't give a rats ass. So what if my life is going nowhere... so what?! Where did her life go? NOWHERE that's where! Why is everything I do not good enough? I clean the house, I work so hard for my grades, I take shit from everyone, but no. Nothing is good enough. And every second word out of my mouth is a lie... why? Why can't she trust me for just a second.
"Get a job!" She shouts.
"Clean this up!"
"Oh that happened? Well then it must be your fault."
"No I will not speak about politics or money with you because you're to dumb to understand it."
FUCK!
Every one that passes by, lawyer, doctor, photographer. " Why can't you be more like them?" She asks.
Why? Maybe because I don't want to be like them. Maybe I'm different. And if I am, you shouldn't be scared of me. I'm the future and the future needs change. and as much as you and everyone else wants to, you can't control the future and you can't control me. I will change things and It will be a better world, but I just need one thing....
Your acceptance...I need you to be proud of me....I need it to be enough.
