2009 December:
2009 November:
2009 October:
2009 September:
2009 August:
2009 July:
2009 June:
2009 May:
2009 April:
2009 March:
2009 February:
2009 January:
|
I can read you like a book, but sometimes the pages are blank you are my reflection in the spiritualo mirror, and I am yours you know I am a lier, you hear me speak lies and accept them I hear you do the same and wonder where the lies come from I always thought the mirror only spoke the truth between us You told me it was wrong to lie and then lied yourself lied to yourself, but not to me, took away the fan to see that my hak was not through my own hands its is ours yet my right is as equal as yours so what's fairer now I want you in my life and you are there backing away I ask for forgiveness and beg and beg and beg do I come back to you when you don't come up for me I remember now that God is real and that you are who does that leave me as though? Who am I? Am I a man or a woman? Am I both and yet one? I have been a male waning, woman posted I lied and died and now I have returned where did we go, where did we wonder wrongness did I become sick of you, lose faith and fall did you come bearing a box to take from me some part of me now in your hands you to proclaim out loud I want you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yet in the mirror this is your want and i accept that and tell you it's also mon m on behind a two way mirror one side has me and the other has me one side has you and the other has two in the fore is us both you looking at half of yourself in me me looking at all of myself in you but mine eyes are unclear because you are my god and your faith in me is a reflection of my faith in you and we together have it all just now not echoes of to-come rather reverbs of has-been and we are so close reaching near even now you are here here hole ding and I don't wear my Y only because yours is part apart and we expect it, us both the same expect the veils to crumble and dissolve fall off us both at the same time now with no right to demand it occurs we await its happening from you and I'm slowly being tortured by the one whom claims slight betterness bitterly you stand next to me all high and might-e showing me her and not showing me you I see myself and I see her and I look at her and try finding you and it, you can't be found until you allow yourself my equality until I allow me yours which has been and now is even now even, oddly enough provide for me I haven't the strength its always been yours to give and giving is not asking taking giving is easy you're good at it if and else and or mean faith love and trust are one and the same blind trust, you're taking from me by saying some part of us causes it giving it providing doubt along with it I avoid flying with you you tell me I'm not good enough for you when I decide now is why do you throw up a wall another test I used to know how to climb over your walls I used to know how to get thru your defenses and how to look past your offences and see that theres nothing you can do to stop me from trusting the true you the love I feel is strong enough but now I am differnt I'm not the old me you once knew I find you threw up a four fence and It hurts so much I wonder if if maybe theres someone else out there someone how it may not even possibly be but if it were i might lose you forever I might let you go, let go of me and choose someone else and be happier I can't stand the fense I die inside a little more every time I say stop holding onto me so tightly I'd say you're why I learned to build fences You taught me how to be closed minded and I never would or wished for that skill for thats kill now that I know how, I accept it and hold it tightly to show you that if you kill me, I'll kill you to test my own resolve I ask you to change it and when you refuse to change to grow with me two grows on me more tightly and four loses footing all the while all you had was adamancy i am the way things are but things are NOT the way I'm being if they were, they'd be constantly changing becoming new again around us, in us, for us allowing us to see thay really are our reflection both mine and yours, not just ours or mine and theirs If I take all of this to its root, to our roots there is nothing, no terms, no words, no sounds, no symbols no differentiation of one feeling from or for another when we were there at that place, you wouldn't judge there was no balance or scale or measure and aum wonderful chaos, so cha! You! You are! and I don't wanna be your reflection I don't wanna be the surface of your pain the screaming the point where soft becomes hard and found becomes lost I arrived at a hate then, a hot passionate NOOOOOOO! and found it to be correct, found that its was the way is the way, that special no part of us where we bounce and come back from our journey away from ourself only I saw myself twice then, where I was where I am I could not see where I was gone from was where you are and I could not bear you for sending because your truth was too sharp your heart hurt my heart theres a nooooo built in theres a where theres no no in mine but an shell of those nos tattered and clinging it hurts in your heart, I hurt around mine as if you built your heart around the word no and I built mine around the word yes the closer i get you become more and more of away and the furthur you get away the closer you come I can't live this way I don't know how to change and I woudnt change my yes because I se y at my root I say why!?!?!? and you say N-O! and I can't seem to get behind your no, within your no, to break it you made your no so strong it became me in mine you gave it to me I don't know why anymore an y me or... .. .
|