MUSEUM OFFERS TOKEN TRIBUTE TO HEMP

AMSTERDAM -- While Canadians struggle with the question of who can legally
smoke marijuana, the Dutch continue to celebrate the answer they have
embraced for more than two decades -- everybody over 18.

Amsterdam, in fact, has a museum devoted exclusively to the somewhat-legal
psychotropic herb, the only one of its kind in Europe. Located at Oudezijds
Achterburgwal 148, sandwiched between two canals next to the famous red
light district, the museum is worth a visit if you want to see something
you can't see at home.

It costs only seven guilders (about $4.50 Canadian) to enter, is open until
10 p.m., and refreshingly free of crowd pressure and rules about where and
when you can sit down. It's very mellow in the Hash Marijuana Hemp Museum
Amsterdam.

And you may learn a few things. Like, did you know that the root of the
word "canvas" comes from "cannabis?" That the Chinese were making paper
from hemp stalks as early as 100 BC? That the last Dutch hemp-processing
windmill burned down in 1914? All true.

And what about those persistent rumours that Queen Victoria smoked pot to
alleviate menstrual cramps? There's nothing here that provides definitive
proof, but the curator seems to think it's true. A portrait of the late
monarch, looking characteristically stern in her lace and pearls, is given
prominence here, making her an improbable poster girl for the legalization
movement.

It's amazing what went on in polite society before the world's drug police
began to think people were having too much fun.

A 19th-century print shows hashish being smoked at the Turkish booth at the
Centennial Exposition of 1876 in Chicago. Another picture shows it being
used in wedding ceremonies of the 17th century.

One of the main exhibits features the history of shipbuilding in Amsterdam,
which helps explain how marijuana came to be so popular in the region.

In the 17th century, when Dutch sailors ruled the seas, they learned
ancient Roman and Phoenician techniques for processing what is now known as
"industrial" hemp.

The Dutch learned to smoke the dried flowers and resin of the hemp plant in
South Africa at a time when tobacco smoking was gaining popularity in Europe.

The museum also displays an interesting collection of exotic smoking
paraphernalia from around the world -- antique hookahs from Turkey, carved
coconut shells from Afghanistan, totem pipes from North America, and
ceremonial pipes and bowls from Africa.

One treasure is a picture painted in 1660 by David Teniers de Jonge, an
Antwerp master, entitled Hemp Smoking Peasants in a Smoking House,which
portrays a dissolute-looking trio drinking from an earthenware jug and
smoking long pipes, while others play cards.

The museum curators claim that easily grown hemp can save the planet from
deforestation. They also attempt to show how marijuana can cure cancer,
AIDS, multiple sclerosis and other serious diseases in addition to its
well-documented benefits as a pain reliever.

In a strange legalistic paradox, it is illegal in the Netherlands to grow
marijuana, to import it, export it, or traffic in it. But possession of
small amounts has not been a criminal offence since 1976. According to the
guide book, the police have been known to raid the museum because of its
back room filled with pot plants growing under bright lights and visible to
visitors through large panes of glass.

This could explain the reluctance of the Frank Zappa look-alike at the
front desk to answer questions. A query about who owns and operates the
museum was a definite non-starter. Then again, maybe he really didn't know.
Come to think of it, he had a little trouble counting change when I bought
my souvenir postcard. On the weekday afternoon that I was there, however,
it didn't look like a raid was imminent. The cop on the corner seemed more
interested in what looked to be a pimp or two who had wandered beyond the
boundaries of the sex district.

It is still possible, however, to be arrested for being a public nuisance
if you start partying too heavily during a night on the town.

About 800 so-called coffee shops in the Netherlands are licensed by local
jurisdictions to sell up to five grams of marijuana or hashish to patrons
over 18. There are about 300 such establishments in Amsterdam.

I visited a nearby place called Extase when I was done at the museum -- for
journalistic purposes, of course.

I looked to be in the company of other tourists: a few young couples and a
table of three young men sampling the wares as they planned their itinerary
for seeing the city.

The guide book says you have to ask to see the smoking menu, because -- in
another strange inconsistency -- it is illegal for the shops to advertise
marijuana or hash in any way, though that's about all they sell.

The waiter, more clean-cut than Frank Zappa across the street, but with the
same starry-eyed gaze, pegged me as a spectator as soon as I ordered my
coffee without the "space cake," which was on special.

There were 22 kinds of grass and 16 types of hash on the menu, a four-joint
box and space tea.

I thought an item called "hot-ears" sounded intriguing, but the waiter
recommended the "white widow cup."

When I told him I was too old for that sort of thing, he offered to sell me
the menu as a souvenir for 10 guilders. As it is not illegal to possess a
menu, either in the Netherlands or in Canada, I could hardly refuse.