BREAKING CYCLE OF DRUGS HELPS ADDICT, FAMILY

DURHAM -- Our community is a melting pot of cultures, lifestyles, races,
beliefs and other differences and similarities.

There are hardworking men and women trying to keep their bills paid and
afford some of the things their families need and want.

We also have our share of people addicted to one drug or another, and
dealers around every corner of some of our buildings supplying the poison
that brings families down. Prostitution and violence run rampant and our
children are seeing and learning these things as a way of life.

Many of these people are satisfied at this time with their way of life; but
there are so many caught like fish in a net, trapped and not knowing how to
get free.

There are a thousand reasons why a person may try drugs: to fit in with
others, to see what it's like and so on. Once a person becomes addicted,
the drug is in control, not the user. It affects not only the user, but
everyone connected to them.

The person's whole personality changes. I believe it takes away their basic
morals and values and replaces them with lies, disrespect, manipulation and
other qualities needed to live the life of an addict.

I know all too well about this, because several members of my family live
this lifestyle today. At first, I tried to change them and I was
disappointed and hurt at every turn. I learned some tough lessons the hard way.

One lesson learned was that addicts don't change because we want them to.
They change only when they want to with all their hearts and souls and are
willing to work diligently to get their lives back. I also don't believe
one can get sober and stay that way without a belief and relationship with
the One with powers higher than our own.

Tough love is very important if one is going to continue a close
relationship with an addict. It is very easy to become co-dependent and the
longer the addict maintains their habit, the better they get at lying,
manipulating and figuring out our weak points.

Lifestyle for some is another barrier. Many of us could not get a soda on
credit because we did not learn in our earlier years how crucial our credit
history would be when we finally got our lives back on track.

We bought things on time, missed payments, co-signed for others and even
small things like ordering magazines with no money to pay for them. It's a
virtual nightmare for some of us, we feel like there is no way out.

I would like to find an organization willing to educate us in the ways to
turn these catastrophes around. One that would help those of us who prove
to be consciously trying to live our lives as solid contributing citizens
in spite of earlier mistakes.

We would like to own our own homes, instead of paying rent year after year.
We would like to strive for something better for ourselves, as well as our
families, especially our children.

We would like to break the cycle of alcohol, drugs, violence and abuse. We
want to leave a completely different legacy for our children; therefore,
giving them something more to strive for like being educated, law-abiding
citizens who love and give back to their community. Hopefully, this is the
legacy they will pass on to their children and it will be the beginning of
a new more positive cycle.

I don't have solutions for all the problems in our society or in our
particular community, but this is a start. Everything has to start
somewhere and this takes just a little compassion, a lot of love and basic
equality to succeed. I hope there are answers for us and if someone happen
to have ideas that would help bring some of these things to reality please
contact me.

Questions? Concerns? You can reach Brenda James at (919) 596-3300 or via
e-mail at jct@herald-sun.com.

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