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WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE WAR DADDY?

I chased criminal plants. I tore up fields of hemp. A plant that looks like
marijuana but has no psychoactive effect. I filled the jails with drug
users, letting untold numbers of violent criminals get a free pass to make
sure there was room for dealers and users of the wrong kinds of drugs. I let
terrorists go free in order to concentrate on jailing people out for a
little drug induced fun. Of course I ignored those using the most harmful
drugs commonly available in society, alcohol and tobacco.

I started a war to repress the people of Bolivia and Columbia. I did it
because some of our citizens prefer snorting Bolivian cocaine to drinking
Columbian coffee. I did this based on the same religious intolerance that
led to alcohol prohibition. I did this based on Puritan totalitarianism
rather than American pluralism. I knew from history that in every single
instance of American prohibition that the side effects of the cure were
worse than the disease. Yet I persisted.

I contributed to the loss of Bill of Rights for all Americans by taking away
those rights from the demonized drug users. I got the rules of evidence
changed at the Federal level so that no evidence of a crime is necessary.
Just some snitches word. I worked hard to see that such snitches were well
rewarded either with money, drugs, or shortened jail sentences. I also
worked hard to make sure that profits on the prohibited substances were high
enough so that criminals could easily afford to corrupt our police, border
guards, and politicians.

I turned some neighborhoods into shooting gallerys where armed bands fought
over marketing rights in various territories. If there were not enough
murders in these neighborhoods I shortened the supplies of the various
commodities to up the economic pressure until violence broke out. If that
didn't work I weakened the dominant militia until a rival could dispute its
marketing territory, there by increasing the clamor of the local citizens
for protection from the armed thugs. It worked. Our budgets kept growing. I
worked as hard as possible to see that the American police spent 50% or more
of their time chasing Americans pursuing the wrong kind of happiness.

I worked hard to get children to inform on their parents. We got quite a few
to turn in their parents for indulging in a substance safer than aspirin. Of
course we jailed the parents and made the children jail orphans. Then we
decried the breakdown of the family. Such fun.

And while making war on 5 to 10% of all Americans I ignored any warnings of
terrorist threats and concentrated on the civil war against users of the
wrong kinds of drugs. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

After years of doing my best to enrich the criminal class and destroy
America I finally came to my senses. September 11th woke me up. Real
unavoidable terror had come to America. What postal worker wouldn't be happy
to have avoidable cocaine fall out of an envelope rather than unavoidable
anthrax? I decided that all the police effort going into preventing people
from pursuing happiness could be better spent chasing real criminals and
terrorists. I asked my boss if I couldn't transfer to airport security, the
FBI, border patrol, or any other job where I could really fight the
terrorist enemy instead of supporting them directly or indirectly. And my
boss understood. He was already thinking along the same lines himself.

I'm happy to tell you I got my transfer and I got my self respect back.

This weeks saying:

What is the difference between drug prohibition and alcohol prohibition?
Seventy four years so far.

Ask a politician:

Do you support drug prohibition because it finances criminals at home or
because it finances terrorists abroad?

E.J. is getting a clemency hearing in January. He needs you to contact the
governor to ask that he be set free to be an asset to the community rather
than a burden. He has no wish to be jailed and according to the facts of his
case there is no need. He hurt no one by selling for medical use a plant
safer than aspirin.

Contact the governor at:

Office of the Governor 207 Statehouse Springfield, IL 62706

217-782-0244 voice

217-558-2239 TDD

217-524-4049 fax

governor@state.il.us

M.L. Simon is an industrial controls designer and independent political
activist.