PRETZEL LOGIC

THAT NOW-famous presidential bag of pretzels has no doubt been
consigned to the ash heap of history -- or at least the nearest White
House trash can. But don't be surprised if you see Asa Hutchinson,
head of the Drug Enforcement Administration, rooting around in there
for the mischievous munchies. Mr. Hutchinson is on a fierce crusade to
stamp out a hitherto-unknown menace to society: Wacky snacks.

Mr. Hutchinson, the former Arkansas congressman appointed by President
Bush as the latest general in the 30-year "war on drugs," has issued
orders banning a number of snack foods routinely sold in health food
stores, because they are made with hempseed or hemp oil, and thus
might contain minute traces of THC -- the active ingredient
responsible for the "high" in marijuana.

And what are these dangerous substances threatening the innocent
innards of America? Corn chips, candy bars, ice cream, salad oil,
veggie burgers, cereal, and, yes, pretzels. Purveyors of foods
containing hemp have until Feb. 6 to clear their shelves, or face
federal prosecution.

The amount of THC in these products is minuscule, the manufacturers
say -- at about the same level as the opiates in poppy-seed bagels or
the trace amounts of alcohol found in orange juice. And in fact, hemp
comes from a different part of the cannabis plant than marijuana, and
is useless as an intoxicant.

Congressional critics say Mr. Hutchinson's micro-focused zealotry is a
waste of money and manpower, especially in a time of national emergency.

Let's hope that while Mr. Hutchinson is playing Elliot Ness with
granola bars and pretzels, the DEA has a few agents left to deal with
"lesser" problems -- like the life-wrecking scourge of crack cocaine
or the heroin flooding our cities.