WHAT SCHOOLS NEED IS A WAY TO STOP DRUGS WITHOUT THE FANGS

They're talking about releasing the drug-sniffing hounds at my kid's
high school because a few students were caught with pot.

And some U.S. Supreme Court justices were saying last week that it's a
good idea to allow drug testing of kids who want to belong to school
bands, chess clubs or other extracurricular activities. It's already
legal to test the jocks.

I know that friends don't let friends play chess stoned, but how far
are we willing to go with this intrusion of the state into our
children's belongings and body fluids?

We love our kids so much that we can't wait to sic law enforcement all
over them in what's certain to be yet another failed attempt to
eradicate drugs in a society awash in drugs.

Hey, kids, remember we told you in the DARE program that it's all
about making good choices and personal responsibility? Well, now it's
about these dogs and armed officers trying to catch you with drugs or
at least scare the crap out of you.

If funding were a problem - which it never seems to be in the drug war
- - we could probably have the locker sniffing sponsored by Miller or
Budweiser, makers of America's favorite drug, alcohol.

I called Wauwatosa Superintendent Robert Slotterback as a journalist
and a parent to talk about a proposal to "lock down" (yikes, what a
prison term) Wauwatosa East High School and have police dogs smell
every locker plus the cars in the parking lot.

In the past couple of weeks at Tosa East, three kids were caught with
marijuana, he said. That's not exactly Woodstock, but the belief among
administrators is that drug possession and possibly distribution at
the school is a growing problem.

"I trust about 99 percent of the students fully. But 1 percent have
proven they can't be trusted," Slotterback said.

I understand that schools own the lockers. I appreciate that schools
have zero tolerance for drugs. My problem is the trade-off between our
privacy and the limited good that comes from intrusive and frightening
searches. We agree to be searched in airports because we prize the
payoff of a flight without terrorism.

I wonder how many adults would tolerate being locked down at work
while dogs are brought in. I'm sure they would tell us it's for our
own good.

Kids Are Smart

It's reasonable to conclude that some kids would be deterred from
bringing drugs to school if they knew a locker sweep was imminent.
Then again, they might just start carrying pot in their pockets
instead. Or figuring out which drugs the dogs can't detect.

The amount of drugs being consumed by students before school, in
school, after school and on weekends would remain the same. The school
district would get points for appearing tough, but no victory could be
declared.

"There's so much hypocrisy among adults toward teenagers," said
Barbara Miner, managing editor of Rethinking Schools, an education
reform newspaper based in Milwaukee. "Probably half the people who
think this is a good idea are going to go home and have a martini tonight."

"If they were serious about substance abuse, they would have a much
more comprehensive approach," she said.

Maybe the dogs should check out school staff lounges, too. The Mineral
Point School District has been bringing in dogs twice a year for three
years and has never found drugs belonging to a student. They did,
however, find marijuana stems and seeds in the car of a teacher in the
school parking lot.

Very few school districts do random drug testing of children, and
Slotterback said Wauwatosa has no intention to start. That's a relief.

The school has shown it can catch druggie kids by the old-fashioned
methods of nabbing them in bathroom stalls and by overhearing
conversations.

Drugs don't belong in schools. Kids on drugs can't learn. Parents and
educators need to help kids make good choices about drugs and their
dangers.

But let's call off the dogs.