BONG HITS 4 KEN STARR

Seriously, that dude needs to chill out, and a joint just ain't going
to cut it. Maybe if he'd lighten up, he would quit using the justice
system as a perverse political tool. For those of you who, for some
reason or another, didn't feel the need to read any news concerning
our Lord and Savior and the sticky icky, here's the deal: Joey
Frederick was a high school senior when the 2002 Olympic torch passed
through his Alaskan town on its way to Salt Lake City. School got out
early for this event, and Frederick used this opportunity to display a
giant sign on the public sidewalk across from his school which read
"Bong Hits 4 Jesus." The principal suspended him for ten days. He sued
on free speech grounds.

And now, just a couple of weeks ago, famed Clinton antagonist Kenneth
Starr battled the American Civil Liberties Union-guess who represented
whom-in front of a presumably cranky Supreme Court.

Frederick claims that the sign was not a pro-drug message, but merely
something to piss off his school's administration. Mission
accomplished. But even if it was a pro-drug message, the court simply
must rule in his favor. I see no problem in advocating a change in our
absurd drugs laws. Justice Kennedy asked at the hearing whether
political speech advocating rape would be okay with Mr. Frederick and
the ACLU. Well, rape is one of the most evil and humiliating things
one person can do to another. Pot makes you hungry and really
appreciate Pink Floyd.

The real question in this case, though, is not about whether pot
should be legal. It is about how brutally public school boards can
stifle speech they simply don't like. I had a problem like this in my
high school days. Back in the winter of my senior year, our Fearless
Leader was gearing the country up for a hideous mistake of a war. My
way to protest the direction my country was heading was to silently
remain seated during the pledge of allegiance. This did not sit well,
and I was warned by my teachers not to continue, and even threatened
by my principal.

When I brought in the court decision showing that he was a
war-mongering jackass and enemy of the First Amendment, he laughed and
told me to get a lawyer. It's times like those that make having lawyer
uncles awfully nice. I enjoyed Principal Salvo's apology, and I am
sure that Mr. Frederick will enjoy it when his principal, Deborah
Morse, is forced to apologize to him.

Sure, campaigning for "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" may not be as politically
pure as protesting an unjust war and a government which doesn't think
much of the American public's intelligence, but free speech is free
speech. And I won't have a legal precedent named after me, or the
respect of those who love liberty. So, Joey, you got that going for
you. Which is nice.

Patrick Gibbons is a senior majoring in political science.