WAR ON DRUGS HAS EX-REPORTER SMOKIN' MAD

Huckleberries

Ex-CdA Press reporter Brent Andrews has become an activist against the war
on drugs. He sez it's a waste of money, manpower and time. From Tennessee,
he e-mailed to say the "heavy-handed prosecution" of three young men for
selling 10 pounds of grass last year pushed him over the edge. Writes
Andrews: "I want Jim (Deputy Prosecutor Reierson) to know what he started
when he threw the book at Sean Nelson and his friends, then called me again
and again to write about it. He wanted their names in the paper, and he got
what he asked for, I guess." Reierson also got the Drug Enforcement
Administration's Outstanding Achievement Award for handling the case. The
war rages on.

UFO Redux

A "Mr. Earth" called Herm and Darlene Pfahl to say he'd communicated --
mentally -- with that strange sphere in the sky the Pfahls spotted
southwest of Sandpoint. The object, he said, buzzed his house above
Coburn-Culver Road, hovered 100 feet over it and then zipped off. E- mails
Darlene: "Whew! This is getting real spooky!" ... Meanwhile, the Pfahls say
their kids in Seattle refer to them as "loonies in the boonies" ... The
Pfahls, sez Doris Meyer, must be newcomers because she's watched their
"UFO" -- a colorful star -- some 35 years. Sez Doris: "You can see it most
nights, depending on the clouds. It goes across the sky very slowly and
about 3 a.m. disappears over the Coeur d'Alene area."

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Huckleberries hears that, ahem, J.J. Hunter, author of "The Resort,"
decided four years ago to do three things: paint a picture, write a song
and pen a book. Now, Berry Pickers say, Jerry, er J.J., has done all three.
He's painted his picture. He's written his lyrics and paid a professional
to record the song. He's authored and published a suspense novel (for some
$50,000). Don't know what J.J.'s going to try next. A column in Brand X?

Rankinstein Unchained

Nah, Commish Ron Rankin isn't driving a new Lincoln. But he did get a sweet
deal on a black 1990 sedan in mint condition with only 48,000 miles. Only 5
G's ... The Ronfather, who turned 73 Friday, sez he's offended by rumors
he's a septuagenarian. Sez he, tongue firmly cheeked: "I've never been in
Septuagenaria. Nor do I know where it is. It must be a slur" ... Speaking
of slurs, attorney Norm Gissel was so ticked at The Ronfather's remark
about Demos in Huckleberries Monday that he stomped into the commish office
and blurted: "Do not refer to me as a cockroach in the newspaper" ... The
Ronfather tells Huckleberries he'll run as a write-in if Don Morgan
succeeds in getting the state Supreme Court to throw out the term limits
repeal at this late date.

Fan Mail

Ken Rawlinson of Coolin flinches whenever a Spokaloonian calls Idaho home:
"At Priest Lake, we locals must listen to their constant ramblings about
how long they have lived at the lake after spending their two-week vacation
at a rented cabin. Some have rented post office boxes or use a friend's
local telephone number to validate their claims. I say you are not a local
until you have spent at least two winters here! By that time one realizes
it's not all clear water, green trees and wildlife that gets you through a
full year."

Huckleberries

Brand X Sports scribe Eric Mitchell wonders if Huckleberries is an equal
opportunist. Last summer, Huckleberries nicked Eric for damning a "dam" in
a sports simile. Now, our sports guys have mentioned a "damn-busting
torrent." Alas, what goes around comes around ... Huckleberries hears a
local commish was so dissatisfied with his lunch at a GOP women's grubfest
he demanded his money back. He called the restaurant the next day to
complain, too. Mebbe they need those raises, after all ... Sign at Post
Falls Bruchi's: "We are the sandwich docters. We fix 'em up right." But
they don't spell 'em right ... Bumpersnicker: "I lived in the fast lane
until I married a speed bump" ... S-R sales rep Heidi Weaver is shopping
for a new car after losing that muffler recently. In other words, sez an
office wag, she's sending her Scirocco to the "old Volks home" ... CdA's
John L. Lewis, 23, was so upset at being jailed on a misdemeanor
paraphernalia charge he tore the phone headset off the wall. Now, he's
facing a felony, too. What we have he'ah is a failure to communicate ...
The life span of political yard signs in new District 5? About an hour.
That's how long signs for D's Wally Wright, Kristi Johnson and Lee Pittmon
lasted at Harbor Island Wednesday.

Parting Shot

Bob Thomas of Post Falls offers this ode to spring: "One neighbor put his
skis away and started riding his motorcycle to work. Another neighbor began
mowing his lawn. A third neighbor is spreading fertilizer. Me? I'm drinking
orange juice and waiting for motivation to take over." Seems Bob's get up
and go got up and went.