DYING FOR A SMOKE

Cannabis Hunger Striker Faces A Grim Choice

Robin Prosser is a 45-year-old Missoula woman who has been on a hunger
strike since April 20 protesting her inability to secure legal, medicinal
marijuana in Montana to treat her diagnosed immunosuppressive disorder. The
Independent sat down with Prosser earlier this week to discuss the
circumstances that would lead a disabled, middle-aged mother to entertain
thoughts of making the ultimate sacrifice.

Missoula Independent: How long have you been medicating yourself with
marijuana?

Robin Prosser: Well, I've had 17 years of attempting to treat this through
conventional methods. I've had biopsies, steroid treatments, cortisone
injections, and every kind of pain reliever, anti-inflammatory, anti-nausea,
narcotic, anti-depressants, and anti-seizure drugs you can name. I've been
using marijuana as medicine for the last seven years, but I've only been
open about it for the last four. I told my GP, "Nothing's working, and I
have to tell you that I'm finding that cannabis is very effective, and helps
my pain and helps all these symptoms without all these horrible side
effects." And he just got irate, and up and walked out on me.

MI: What precipitated your decision to go public with a hunger strike?

RP: The first real bell that went off was when my daughter got this brain
injury almost five years ago. I found out four months afterwards that if I
had administered cannabis to her-and you know, I would have run all the way,
broken into the ER, given her a joint and told her to light up right
there-it's been proven to prevent brain cell deaths. If I had been able to
administer cannabis within six hours of that injury, I might have been able
to save some of the intellect and brain function that she lost. It's just
horrible to think that my doctor may have known it at the time, but because
of the laws it's very strict what he can and cannot say to me. Here's
another generation of my family who didn't need to suffer what she suffered,
and might have been helped.

So that, and then the terrorism ads in response to the 9/11 thing, the ones
that say that I'm supporting terrorism, and the whole issue of personal
freedoms. I'm not a terrorist, I'm not a traitor, but I feel as if I'm being
forced to leave my country. With my kid and my life here, that's just not
fair. Because this is not my choice. It's not a lifestyle choice, it's a
critical medical decision. And they can't have the Supreme Court, none of
whom are doctors, say that this has no medical benefit. It's a pure lie.
This drug has tremendous medical benefits.

MI: How do you medicate yourself?

RP: If I'm lucky enough to have some for baking, I make baked goods to
establish a base level. And then I smoke, depending on quality and potency,
about three grams per day. I find I can get by on half that with
hydroponically grown stuff.

MI: How far are you willing to take this?

RP: Well, I told my doctor last week that if my heart stops, that he had
better get it started again. I'm not placing a DNR [Do Not Resuscitate
order]. I couldn't do that to my child, she'd totally freak. But I don't
think I would appreciate a heart attack, because it's really going to hurt.

MI: What's the difference in your mind between starving to death and dying
of a heart attack?

RP: I have to make them resuscitate me. That's continuing on, that's saying,
"I'm not going to give up even if my heart stops. Bring me back so I can do
some more." Which would be more effective, I think, than dying for this
because other people have already died.

MI: Let's say it gets to the point where you need medical attention and
nutrition or you will die. What happens then?

RP: Somehow inside I have a belief that it won't come to that, that if it
gets that serious there will be enough public outrage that somebody will
save me. I just feel that it will not come to that. I don't think I could
have done this if I thought people were going to let me die. But it takes
making it known.

MI: Who do you hope will save you?

RP: George Bush, because the policy change must happen on a federal level.
This state-by-state crap, when they're going to close them [medicinal
cannabis clubs] down anyway…it does me no good to move to California or
Oregon. Or the governor, even. That would be really helpful, to get some
measure of protection for myself and my daughter. I'm a good citizen of
Montana and I deserve protection. Because this is torture. It's a human
rights violation, as far as I'm concerned. I either break the law or I live
in horrible pain. But I don't believe a lot of people actually see a clear
medical case, and that's why I thought I was a good candidate for this. I'm
not what they expect.

MI: Is it your intention to evoke pity with the strike?

RP: Well, sometimes you find yourself in these positions in life and you go,
"Why me? Why does this have to be the only medicine that works?" But then
again, if you use it for a purpose, that's what counts.

MI: If it comes down to a conscious choice between eating and dying, do you
believe that you will cross the line and eat?

RP: Nope. I want to already. I mean, I'm hungry. But that's the one thing
I'm sure of. I'm determined. And when I set my mind to something, I don't
back off. There's a difference between getting what you want and getting
what you need. And I need this.