GUILT TRIP - ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE?

Did the events of September 11 change America? Apparently not. One
constant has been the ability of opportunists to exploit the tragedy.
We've kept a list of behavior that went beyond bad taste into the
realm of "what were they thinking?" Among the many examples: A few
days after planes flew into the WTC and the Pentagon, a cremation
society ran an ad illustrated by a line drawing of the twin towers.

Then there was the porn company that offered for sale a videotape
called Vengeance, with the promise that all proceeds would go to the
Red Cross. Then Detroit appropriated a hero's last words ("Let's
roll") to inspire us to buy GM gas guzzlers (Keep America Rolling). We
watched the government wrap the term homeland security around every
pork project from farm subsidies (keep America eating) to a bogus
economic-stimulus package (keep America shopping). But the trend
peaked during the Super Bowl, when the Office of National Drug Control
Policy tried to link casual drug use with world terrorism in a series
of television commercials.

"Where do terrorists get their money?" asked a voiceover as the camera
showed an Osama clone buying AK-47s, fake passports and plastique
explosives. "If you buy drugs, some of it might come from YOU."

The feds spent nearly $3.5 million to place the spots. In the weeks
that followed, more money went to sponsor ads in 293 newspapers. Over
a picture of a slightly stoned youth, the copy read: "Yesterday
afternoon I did my laundry, went for a run and helped torture
someone's dad." The text over a shot of a young girl is similar: "Last
weekend I washed my car, hung out with a few friends and helped murder
a family in Colombia. C'mon, it was a party." Another helpful teen
claimed to be an accessory after the fact in the killing of a judge.

The tag line at the bottom of the ads directs the curious or guilty to
theantidrug.com, an official website

that provides yet more propaganda, some of it unintentionally
hilarious: "If you are using drugs in America, whether you're shooting
heroin, snorting cocaine, taking ecstasy or sharing a joint in your
friend's backyard, evidence is mounting that what you're doing may be
connected to events far beyond your existence."

Heavy, man. Feeling connected to events far beyond their existence is
one reason people take drugs, as anyone who saw the Grateful Dead
perform can attest. But the folks at theantidrug.com hold the
recreational drug user responsible for much worse.

How many of the 28 organizations identified as terrorists by the State
Department are funded by illegal drugs?

According to theantidrug.com, 12. How much did the Taliban make from
the sale of heroin? Some $40 million to $50 million. The site fails to
mention that just months before September 11, the U.S. government
pledged a similar amount to reward the Taliban for eradicating the
poppy crop. Where would that money have gone? Yesterday's ally in the
war on drugs is today's terrorist and tomorrow's world leader.

The British director who made the spots boasted of the "unprecedented"
fact checking between the copywriters and the FBI, DEA, CIA and the
Departments of Defense and State over such niggling details as the
going price of AK-47 assault rifles. Certainly, given the war on
drug's past history with truth, unprecedented was the right word.

None of the ads touch on the basic civics lesson of the war on drugs.
Prohibition creates astronomical profits. Our misguided war on drugs
has created the ready cash that corrupts governments and creates
havoc. Make drugs a health problem, rather than a legal one, and the
prices would drop.

We don't have the drug office's $180 million advertising budget, nor
the services of giant Ogilvy and Mather, which created the Super Bowl
campaign. But here are a few ads we'd like to see:

John Ashcroft in front of a cloaked statue of justice: "Today I held a
prayer meeting at the office, issued another red alert in the war on
terrorism and denied an inexpensive form of pain relief to a
terminally ill cancer patient."

A police officer in full SWAT gear: "Yesterday I worked out at the
gym, spoke at a high school DARE program and served a warrant on the
wrong address, accidentally killing an innocent citizen, a father of
five, as he lay sleeping on the couch."

A congressman: "Yesterday I had a three-martini lunch with a lobbyist,
put my daughter, who was caught trying to fill a fake prescription,
into a drug treatment program and upheld marijuana laws that since
1982 have resulted in more than 8 million arrests."

A well-dressed prosecutor: "Yesterday I played racquetball, took a
steam bath and sent a mother of three to federal prison for 20 years
because her boyfriend was a drug dealer."

A Peruvian air force pilot: "Yesterday I kissed my wife good-bye, flew
patrol over a jungle and shot down a small plane, killing a missionary
and her daughter."

Support the war on drugs and you support terror.