FORMER GANG MEMBER HELP OTHERS WITH AN ASSORTMENT OF 'TOUGH LOVE'

"Tough love" saved Kathy Erwin from gang life and an addiction to cocaine.
Now, Erwin is trying to save other lives by expressing some tough love of
her own.

A product of a Portuguese father and a mother from Azores (a group of nine
islands owned by Portugal), Erwin was No. 5 in a line of 17 siblings in a
Visalia, Calif., home.

Despite the large family, Erwin maintains that she had a happy, albeit
brief, childhood.

At 13, Erwin was wed to a pre-arranged groom, a tradition of her unique
cultural upbringing. Her new husband was 18 years old and by the time she
graduated high school she was a mother of four. She later had three more
children and today she has 12 grandchildren.

Erwin's first marriage lasted 20 years before it ended in divorce.

"My first husband was abusive out of ignorance, not out of cruelty," Erwin
said. "We didn't know how to be married or how to be in a relationship. It
was no one's fault."

After her divorce, Erwin's life took a turn for the worse.

A friend invited Erwin to a party, where she was introduced to cocaine for
the first time.

"It was there that I tried it and I liked it," Erwin admits. "I didn't know
what I was getting into."

Her vice for cocaine became so persistent that she often struggled with
severe nose bleeds and other health problems.

"I took drugs every day," Erwin says. "I kept a small amount of cocaine in
my system at all times. It covered my emotions ... my feelings. It took
away a chunk of reality that I didn't want to face."

Erwin's life took another tragic twist when the leader of California's
Pachuco motorcycle gang offered her cocaine. She accepted and her
involvement with the gang progressed.

Two years into her gang life, Erwin met another man who would change her
life. This time, however, it would be a positive change.

Her new beau, Richard Erwin, was a truck driver from Cleveland, who made
long hauls to Fresno, Calif., every week. Kathy met him one night and
maintained a friendship with the trucker for a year.

Richard noticed gang tattoos on Kathy's arm (they have since been removed
by laser surgery) and she eventually revealed her involvement with illegal
narcotics and gangs.

"He was shocked to find out," Mrs. Erwin says. "I don't look like the
typical addict or gang member. But what does a typical addict or gang
member look like?"

Despite his concern for Kathy's destructive lifestyle, Richard set out to
change his sweetheart's ways and woo her to Tennessee. At first, Kathy
balked at the idea.

"He asked me to marry him and I said no," Erwin said. "I couldn't give up
the drugs."

Erwin waited another year on his bride-to-be, continually practicing what
Kathy now calls "tough love."

"He got in my face and told me I was going to have to clean up my act,"
Erwin said. "He showed me an unconditional, tough love."

Exhausted from living a "not law abiding and immoral" existence, Kathy gave
up drugs and accepted Richard's proposal. In order to rid herself of her
gang ties, Kathy had to slit her wrist, bleed into her bandana and vow to
keep details of the gang's whereabouts a secret.

"Most people don't get out of gangs alive," Kathy said. "I was fortunate."

Kathy immediately relocated to Tennessee with her new husband Richard.

"I wanted to be with him and I realized the drugs weren't worth it," she said.

Kathy cleaned up her life through various self-help groups. She could have
remained silent about her past life once in Cleveland, but she choose to
share her experiences with a younger generation.

"One thing that helps me stay clean is helping others stay clean," she said.

After moving to Cleveland, Erwin became involved with several volunteer
projects. She met Deborah Conner, director of Opportunities for Adult
Reading (OAR), and began working in the family reading project.

"Kathy has many God-given talents," Conner said. "She is the hardest
working volunteer I've ever met. This is what He wanted her to do."

She is now stationed in the family reading room at the Blythe Avenue Safe
Haven.

Even with her new lifestyle intact (she's been drug free for 19 years), the
risk of Kathy's past reappearing is always there. She has to report her
past drug addiction to doctors so they don't give her medications with
traces of cocaine.

"I always say I won't do it again, but then again, I said I'd never do it
to begin with," she said. "The potential to use cocaine again is always
there. I have to know my triggers and my safety net."

Kathy's safety net is "a circle of friends" and her husband Richard, who
still drives a truck.

Kathy travels to schools and warns students about the consequences of her
past life. Speaking from experience has given her an added edge.

She is also an instructor for the Law Enforcement and Academic Fitness
(LEAF) Academy, an institution that instills "tough love" into
court-appointed youth.

"I can be open with what I say to young people. I know the consequences of
drugs and gang life," Kathy says. "I am real blunt with what I say. It is
called honest, unconditional, tough love."