Commentary

FIGHTING DRUGS WITH THE FURY OF A CONVERT

CAMBRIDGE -- This is an open letter to all the baby boomers in the local
school district, in language you can appreciate.

Isn't it weird the way things have turned around, man? I mean, who would
have thought that the generation that brought psychedelic drugs out of the
pharmacacy and into the general population would three decades later be
making their kids pee in cups to stop the reefer madness?

You remember the days, don't you -- Jimi Hendrix and Jefferson Airplane?
The Grateful Dead? Pink Floyd? You remember the Vietnam War and the student
riots, the long hair, Woodstock and sit-ins and love-ins? Yoko Ono? Cheech
and Chong? Ken Kesey? Hunter Thompson?

I know it's Washington County, but I do not believe that every one of you
spent the '60s and '70s milking cows. I'm sure some of you went to college,
and I'm sure some of you, college or not, took part in the drug use that
was popular back then.

You remember the drugs, don't you? Because we used a lot of them. And we
spent a lot of time celebrating what they could do.

Isn't it weird the way our generation raised drugs up as this
mind-expanding, consciousness-raising experience, and now we are determined
to banish to Saudi Arabia or somewhere every drug-loving synapse in the
brains of our children?

We will not allow it! Or, in the befuddled language of school
Superintendent Frank Greenhall, we will "try and provide another
opportunity for kids to say no."

But Mr. Greenhall was talking about subjecting students to mandatory drug
tests.

Students won't have an opportunity to say no to mandatory drug tests.

If they want to say no to drugs, they can do that without drug tests.

But here's the really weird thing: Kids these days aren't into drugs -- at
least, not compared to us.

I'm not saying none of them do drugs, I'm saying we put them to shame.

So if we're serious about this, let's do it the right way. Let's set an
example, because that -- as all you educators know -- is the best way to
help kids learn.

Let's take the drug tests ourselves first, starting with the school board
and the administrators, the teachers and then the parents. Let's show them
we're clean and we're not hypocrites.

At least we're only the kind of hypocrite who likes to have fun, then deny
it to others on moral grounds. But, hey, times have changed. And we've got
to protect our kids, right? Even if it means invading their privacy.

They'll take it, because they're good kids. And they know that we know
what's best, so they won't rebel.

Not much, anyway. Not like we did.