INVADE CANADA

Legal pot in Windsor? Fat-free french fries? What's next for America,
vinegar as a condiment? For years, friends and relatives have laughed when
I've advocated the military invasion of Canada. Who's laughing now? Doesn't
Canada's prime minister himself speak a foreign language?

It's my sincere hope that God-fearing officials in the Bush administration
are working on secret plans for the immediate overthrow of the Maple Menace.

I'd like to suggest that we build a giant plant somewhere west of Detroit to
manufacture thousands of four-engine bombers. With 90 percent of Canada's
population within spitting distance of our border, we could decimate their
infrastructure almost overnight and not waste a lot of fuel doing it. Act
now before Don Cherry is named foreign policy adviser.

Paul Erickson

Detroit