TEST OF DIGNITY

NCAA's Drug-Screening Procedures Invasive And 'Weird' But Necessary

And you think your job has drawbacks.

Imagine if your work required you to go into bathroom stalls with total
strangers and watch them urinate into a cup.

For Scott Luebke, his vocation can require just that.

Luebke works for Forward Edge, a Lexington company that administers drug
tests to college athletes, among other clients.

When a drug test is administered on behalf of the NCAA -- or when a
university asks that its own drug testing be conducted according to
NCAA-approved procedures -- this is what is required:

The athlete is compelled to enter a secured bathroom facility.

In full view of an observer of the same sex as the athlete, they are
required to lower their pants to the mid-thigh level.

To raise their shirts to mid-stomach.

Then execute a full 360-degree turn so the observer can be certain that
they have not smuggled in any substance that would compromise the drug test.

Finally, the athlete is required to, well, do their business in a position
that provides the observer an unobstructed view of urine entering cup.

"Obviously, it's not the most comfortable, fun thing to do in the world,"
Luebke says of observing such tests.

"I think I do a pretty good job of not getting all upset and embarrassed.
You want to create an atmosphere that is both professional and relaxed, but
some people are really, really uncomfortable."

The reason the NCAA uses such an invasive drug testing regimen is obvious:
to keep people from cheating.

Sports lore overflows with tales of the lengths to which athletes will go
to beat drug tests. From smuggling in "clean urine" before tests to
smuggling it in tubes placed inside body crevices to using agents designed
to mask banned substances.

Keith Webster, the head athletics trainer at Kentucky, says an old drug
testing tale involves a quarterback who asks his girlfriend to provide him
with a "clean" urine sample.

When the test comes back, the QB is told that there is good news and bad news.

"The good news is your drug test is clean," Webster says. "The bad news is
you're pregnant."

Frank D. Uryasz, the President of The National Center for Drug Free Sports,
the organization that supervises drug testing for the NCAA, says that
college athletes have been subjected to "observed collections" from the
time the NCAA started its testing program in 1986.

As a rule, Uryasz says the NCAA tries to hire people with backgrounds in
the medical profession as observers for drug tests to make the atmosphere
as professional as possible.

"I don't think athletes are that bothered by this," Uryasz (rhymes with
curious) says. "For the most part, with what goes on in locker rooms and
training rooms, athletes are used to reduced privacy."

Well, maybe not.

"It's very violating," Kentucky quarterback Jared Lorenzen says of observed
urine collections. "You just feel violated.

"It's like your own personal time in there -- but there is a guy in there
with you (saying), 'Pull up your shirt. Turn around.' It's a weird experience."

Still, Lorenzen says he understands why athletes are subjected to it.

"I guess they have no choice," he says. "People would cheat. But it is
amazingly violating."

At the Division I level, the NCAA itself conducts random drug tests of
athletes in three sports: football, men's and women's track and field and,
most recently, baseball.

Those are thought by college athletics officials to be the sports where the
use of banned, performance-enhancing drugs is most prevalent.

In other sports, the NCAA directly administers drug tests only during
post-season championships.

However, many individual schools conduct their own drug testing programs.
Webster, the UK trainer, says Kentucky uses NCAA protocol in administering
its own drug tests because it is the best way to ensure "authentic" samples.

Also, Webster says, it prepares Kentucky athletes for the circumstances
under which they will have to "perform" should they be selected for an
NCAA-mandated drug test during national tournaments.

If you're not used to someone watching you, that can be a problem.

Luebke says there are people who really struggle with performing under the
pressure of direct observation.

"Sometimes we wait, seven, eight hours," he says.

When that happens, Luebke says veteran drug testers have a bag of tricks
they use to try to relax the athlete.

They might flush a toilet.

Turn on water at the sink.

In dire circumstances, even ask the athlete to step into a shower where the
water would be turned on.

"Trying to relax them, plant the suggestion in the mind of running water,"
Luebke says.

For college athletes, the loss of privacy is part of the cost they pay to
play. And probably another reason they need to unionize.

For those compelled by their job to watch others pee, eventually it becomes
just another day in the office.

Says Luebke: "You do get used to it."

There may be a stranger job requirement out there. Can't imagine what it
would be.