Fighting Back: Part 3c

ALCOHOLIC KNOWS ADDICTION, DESTRUCTION FIRSTHAND

GULFPORT - Jim S., 40, welds at his job at a Gulfport shop. Jim, who
withheld his last name, has battled alcoholism and drug addiction most of
his life. He has been sober since July 2000.

Jim reads from an Alcoholics Anonymous book. He says AA saved his life.
'The best part of my life has been these last years of sobriety,' Jim said.
'The first year of sobriety, you have a 46 percent chance of staying sober.
After two to five years, it goes up to 86 percent, then 92 percent after
five years. The percentage is great for anyone who follows the program.'

The older kids had a garage rock 'n' roll band and a bad set of drums, and
Jim was in awe.

The older kids were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, which also seemed
cool. They let Jim, who was 11 or 12, join in.

The older kids also were sneaking prescription pills from their parents'
medicine cabinets. Jim soon tried them, too.

Jim was a good kid, from a good family in the Bel-Aire subdivision in
Gulfport. He played sports, baseball and football. He maintained B's
through high school - his dad wouldn't allow less - and his love of
percussion music blossomed and eventually earned him a college scholarship.

But Jim's drinking and drug use would soon wreck his life. Now 40, Jim has
battled alcoholism and drug addiction most of his life. He has been sober
since July 2000.

"I was really having a good time, at least at one point," said Jim S., who
wanted his last name withheld because he is a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous and a volunteer with other recovery programs. "I just wasn't
seeing the progression."

Drinking had become a big part of Jim's life, even before he graduated from
high school. He started really partying, getting into the "bar scene" in
junior college, and blew his scholarship, dropping out in his first year.

But Jim denied he had a problem, even to himself, as drinking began taking
over his life. He suffered severe depression, had trouble with work, with
relationships.

"I went through two marriages, back to back, before I was 25 years old,"
Jim said. "I've probably bought six engagement rings."

In 1983, "something triggered a 10-year spell of depression," Jim said. "I
went to private mental treatment centers. I had a hard time with reality, a
hard time being around people. I couldn't hold down a job."

But still Jim drank, and still he denied alcoholism was at the root of his
problems. He would tell mental health counselors, "I drink a couple of
beers now and then."

"It was a big game of hide-and-seek," he said, "from the law - can I drive
home without getting caught? - from everyone."

But soon Jim couldn't hide it any more. His friends, family and doctors
realized alcohol was killing him, and tried to get him help. But Jim didn't
really want help. He kept drinking, usually until he blacked out.

In 1995, Jim started a relationship with a woman who used cocaine, and he
started using it, too. He quickly hit a new low.

"The more cocaine I took, the more alcohol I'd have to drink," he said.
"The Jim my family knew was no longer there. I became a full-bore alcoholic
and addict, 24 hours a day. I stole; stole from my family, sold all my
property, pawned everything. Everything I had accumulated over 20 years, I
lost in three."

Jim, who is 5 feet 10 inches tall, wasted to 118 pounds. His family
wouldn't let him come around. But still he drank.

Finally, Jim's family had enough, and had him arrested. Jim cannot even
remember what he did, but suspects he broke into his parents' home. Jim
spent a month in a jail hospital facility. He finally realized he needed help.

"I got to the point I was either going to drink myself to death or get
sober," he said. "I asked God for help."

Jim started in Alcoholics Anonymous, a 12-step, spiritually based program.
He is working as a welder, active in church and as a volunteer helping
others in recovery.

"There's no cure," he said. "It's on a daily basis. Each morning I get up
and ask God to keep me sober, and I thank Him for it every night.

"When I have problems, and I have them every day, I know a few beers after
work would help me relax. But I also know that one beer would take me back
to right where I left off. I will absolutely, without a doubt, both
scientifically proven and proven by my own experience, lose everything. If
I'm not dead, I would be in jail.

"I'm an alcoholic, and I can't drink. As long as I don't drink, nothing in
life can take me back down. I can't predict my future, but I'm not going to
drink today."