ENFORCEMENT OF LIQUOR LAWS QUITE STUPEFYING IN SOME CASES

Drug prohibition is misguided, but legalization might actually be a
disservice to potheads and opium fiends.

Look at the madness surrounding my (quasi-legal) drug of choice, alcohol.

A tangle of regulations determines when, where, how much, what kind and at
what price I may indulge.

On a Sunday morning in Ohio, buying crack is easier than buying Blatz.

And enforcement of the state's liquor laws seems to be getting screwier.

The latest weirdness involves attempts to outlaw gelatin shots and dry out
political fund-raisers.

Lemon-lime dilemma

Toledo entrepreneur Brian Pearson ran headlong into Ohio's
neo-prohibitionists when his business was raided and briefly shut down in June.

Pearson's company, BPNC, owns the trademark to Zippers, a prepackaged
version of the gelatin shots familiar to patrons of pick-up bars everywhere.

(Bar owners who mix their own flavored gelatin and alcohol concoctions
violate yet another liquor law.)

Pearson has a stack of paperwork documenting his meetings with officials
and his efforts to comply with regulations. But those regulations proved as
malleable as a mound of Jell-O.

Pearson would obtain permits only to have them rescinded. One official
would give him the go-ahead, then another would threaten prosecution, he said.

The latest blow came after first lady Hope Taft indicated her disapproval
of Zippers in an interview in USA Today.

A few months later, BPNC was raided by a team of 15 gun-toting lawmen who
seized computers, file cabinets and fax machines.

"They even went into my home and went through my underwear drawer, although
they must not have found anything they wanted in there," Pearson said.

"It's been 17 weeks, and there have never been any charges filed," he said.

"The state asked us to plead to two felony charges. So we went public, and
the state immediately dropped what they wanted to a misdemeanor. But we're
not pleading to that, either."

Instead, Pearson and his business partner filed suit in Lucas County
alleging that the search warrant contained false information, and asking
for the return of their property.

Pearson plans to move his company out of state.

"I'm getting out of here, because they're never going to leave me alone,
especially if (Gov. Bob) Taft wins again."

Pearson blames the governor's wife for his troubles. Surely he must be
wrong. Allowing a teetotaling first lady to dictate alcohol policy would be
akin to hiring Madalyn Murray O'Hair as Senate chaplain.

Vote Beam and Daniels

Wally and Pat O'Dell of Upper Arlington hope liquor laws won't stop them
from being gracious hosts while aiding the political candidates of their
choice.

An option on the ballot in their precinct would allow the couple to apply
for temporary permits to serve liquor and wine in their home on Tremont Road.

The O'Dells aren't running a speak-easy, but they host frequent
fund-raisers, including a recent one for Gov. Taft.

State liquor officials recently informed the O'Dells and other fund-raisers
that they need a permit to legally serve alcohol to guests, said Jacob
Evans, a consultant hired by the couple to help with the ballot issue.

The O'Dells, whose neighborhood is dry, will do their best to comply, Evans
said.

Many hosts might not go to such trouble, but the O'Dells are being prudent,
said lawyer Marc Myers, who specializes in liquor issues.

"If you are having a fund-raiser and you serve liquor, strictly speaking,
under Ohio law, you should have a permit," Myers said. The law makes no
exception for private homes or political events, he said.

So maybe legalization advocates such as the National Organization for the
Reform of Marijuana Laws should leave well enough alone.

Imagine the hassles that an Ohio Division of Pot Control could give the
caterers at a NORML soiree.

Steve Stephens is a Dispatch Metro columnist.