TOUGH-ON-CRIME MESSAGE BECOMES JOKE IN NORTH LAS VEGAS

It's good to see the North Las Vegas Police Department is on the cutting
edge of the war on drugs.

From the look of things, I'd say they've just about declared victory.

Their approach is unconventional, to be sure. Some would call it
controversial. But it's reassuring to know the department is leading by
example.

The plan? To decriminalize the passe felonies of cocaine possession and
embezzlement -- at least, where police employees are concerned.

Skeptics among you may wonder whether former NLV police evidence handler
Geneva Kincaid received feather bed treatment after she was suspected of
stealing cocaine from the department's evidence locker.

On Monday, Kincaid received probation in Judge Joseph Bonaventure's court
after District Attorney Stewart Bell agreed to a plea bargain for the
first-time drug offender. The obvious embezzlement was forgiven, perhaps
out of a sense the poor woman had suffered enough.

They did, after all, make her appear in court on a Monday.

And that wrist slap?

There's a real potential for bruising.

I am beginning to see Kincaid's sentence not as an embarrassing miscarriage
of justice that stinks of good ol' boy cronyism, but as a signal that it's
party time in Northtown -- and the coppers are buyin'.

The fact she stole the cocaine, officially 57.5 grams, from an evidence locker?

Don't call it theft or embezzlement. Call it redistribution.

The fact some of the drugs wound up in the hands of her teenage son, who
was arrested and convicted in a separate drug case?

Don't call it drug dealing, or conspiracy to sell cocaine, or endangering a
minor. Call it chemistry homework gone awry.

And the fact she was never arrested, booked, or jailed, but casually
received a summons for a court appearance?

Don't call it an uncommon courtesy given to a police department employee
who is married to a traffic bureau lieutenant. Think of it as a small step
in reducing jail overcrowding.

Given its accepting stance on cocaine possession and theft, I expect the
North Las Vegas Police Department to hurry and unanimously endorse the
Question 9 marijuana initiative. I can almost see them posing for a group
photograph in their "It's no crime to have a good time" T-shirts.

For the record, I called the department's narcotics bureau to see whether
its hard-working detectives were cleaning out their offices now that
cocaine possession was no longer a big deal. I also thought I might ask
them whether they were embarrassed by the Kincaid affair. I was directed to
the public information officer, who hasn't yet mastered those tricky
seven-digit dialing skills.

Undaunted, I also called Chief Mark Paresi's office seeking comment. Surely
the chief would want to discuss the merits of the new law enforcement
techniques in use. Alas, no luck.

Perhaps they were all too busy tearing up every recent cocaine possession
and theft cases in the system now that those laws aren't worth the paper
they're printed on. Yeah, sure they were.

Maybe they were down at the North Las Vegas lockup turning loose all the
street-corner dopers and petty thieves who are no longer to be considered
among the criminal element now that those charges are meaningless. Yes,
that must be it.

Whatever they were doing, not one badge-carrying member of that fraternity
voiced a syllable of discontent that one of their own had been cradled in
the arms of the system.

Imagine all the money they'll save by no longer worrying about sending a
tough-on-crime message to the beleaguered citizenry.

For that matter, it will probably come as a relief to every lowly
supermarket cashier and blackjack dealer that the police department no
longer frets over embezzlement.

Hey, everyone makes mistakes. Don't worry; we'll write when it's time for
court.

Heard the one about the public employee who was actually punished for
violating the people's trust?

Not lately you haven't.

That joke went out with spats and Vaudeville.

Meanwhile, congratulations to the North Las Vegas Police Department.

They've just about got that crime thing licked.