GILBERT REVEALS PRIVATE THOUGHTS

TRAVERSE CITY - District Judge Thomas Gilbert spent much of last week
grappling with how to recover from what he calls "the most stupid thing"
he's done in his life.

As of Thursday, Gilbert had not had a drink in two and a half weeks. He was
preparing to travel to Minnesota to attend a world-renowned 28-day alcohol
abuse program.

Much of last week was consumed by meetings with family and friends,
delivering apologies to supporters and preparing for his eventual return to
the bench.

An ordinary citizen spotted taking a puff of marijuana at a Rolling Stones
concert in Detroit might get kicked out of the concert. Gilbert's folly has
generated headlines across the country, discussion on Fox News and a quip
from Jay Leno.

"That's a punishment that an average person might not have to endure,"
Gilbert said, uncomfortable at the mention of the Tonight Show.

"I understand that you can't be a judge and break the law - I understand
that 100 percent - I just hope and pray that at some point this community
will come to forgiveness and realize that beyond that I'm a good judge."

About 30 cards and letters from supporters sit in a bowl that is a
centerpiece on his dining room table. He says he has received 60 phone calls
from supporters. On Thursday morning, the phone at his home rang every few
minutes.

"That's a close circle of friends. Those were people that wanted me to be
judge that I've let down," he said. "But they also know that Tom Gilbert is
an honorable man and will do a good job."

Almost two weeks ago, Gilbert admitted to district judges Michael Haley and
Thomas J. Phillips that he smoked marijuana at the concert in October.

"I had to look him in the eye and say I can't lie to you, I can't lie to my
friends," he said. "This community wouldn't have known about this unless
they heard it directly from me, an honest and heartfelt admission."

Several days later, the news made the Record-Eagle and was traveling across
the country via the Associated Press.

Gilbert said he scrambled to let his family know before they read it in a
newspaper or heard it on the radio. Gilbert especially wanted to warn his
parents, who he visited after a late-night drive to Saginaw a day before the
news broke.

Gilbert's father, a retired circuit judge for Saginaw County, was furious.
His mother was disappointed. But both soon came around to support their son.

Gilbert's father had some suggestions: "His advice is to be honest and, I
don't know that these are his words, but, 'Fix what's broken and move on.'¡"

How do you undo damage to a reputation? Gilbert's first step was to get a
professional assessment for alcohol abuse and then get a second opinion.
Both assessments, he said, determined he has an alcohol problem.

Gilbert stressed that the assessments did not conclude that he has a drug
problem or that he is an alcoholic.

He says his problem is that he sometimes drinks to excess and his judgment
becomes impaired.

"The assessment says that I'm not an alcoholic, but I'm as close as you can
get without being one and since it's a progressive disease I'm going to not
let it progress any further," he said.

Gilbert has vowed give up alcohol. He hopes that may lead him to avoid in
the future something like what he did on Oct. 12.

"If I hadn't been drinking alcohol that night I wouldn't have done the most
stupid thing I've done in my life, which was taking a couple of hits off a
marijuana cigarette," Gilbert said. "Not only should I have known better, I
did know better."

Gilbert stresses that he has always been only a social drinker. He never
drank in the morning. He never hid a bottle in his office.

"When I drink, I don't make good decisions. this is an example of one of
those times," he said.

Those bad decisions include unfortunate remarks at cocktail parties, he
said, but were not so serious as to include something like drinking and
driving.

"That's where it was maybe kind of headed, to maybe getting behind the wheel
of a car after having too much to drink," he said. "So you stop that
immediately, once you become aware of it."

He hopes 28 days of treatment at the Hazelden Clinic in Minnesota will put
him on a sober track, but he doesn't want to discus the future of his
recovery, maintaining that even if it is a matter of public discussion now,
in the future he hopes to be given some privacy.

"Any time you change your lifestyle and make a significant change, it's not
easy," he said. "There will be challenges down the road as there are with
anybody that has a drinking problem."

Gilbert also has words for those who support marijuana legalization and want
to use his case as fodder for their campaign.

"I don't want to be the poster child for recovering judges and I will not be
the poster child for reform of marijuana laws. It's against the law and it
should remain against the law."

Although it remains an open question whether Gilbert will be allowed to
preside over marijuana cases when he returns to the bench, Gilbert said he
looks forward to getting back to work.

A review of several of the 60 use of marijuana cases and 137 possession of
marijuana cases Gilbert has presided over in Grand Traverse County shows
Gilbert has not been averse to sending marijuana users to jail.

"It's illegal, it's unhealthy, and to a lot of citizens, it's morally
wrong," he said.

Asked whether he expects his experience will make him more sympathetic to
defendants with drug or alcohol problems, Gilbert said he hopes he can
remain balanced, but that he isn't sure what effect this transformation will
have.

"I have no idea," he said. "I've asked myself that question also."

Gilbert said he has not considered handing in a resignation.

"If I was elected to fulfill this job and I made one momentary bad decision,
but the decisions I've made from the bench have been good and solid, I've
been a good a good judge and I'm on the road to becoming a great judge."