IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS

* Our economy looks weak only in the wake of the 1990s dot-com bubble
and its inevitable bursting. At any other time in history, the present
state of the economy would be considered excellent.

* The war to stop marijuana use will never be won. Legalize it, tax
it, and let law enforcement deal with true crimes against humanity.

* Jesus wouldn't own a car because he was opposed to materialism and
wealth.

* To neuter is cuter; spay today.

* I thought the president's mandate was to destroy terrorism, not
destroy the earth.

* Don't cry for that patriarch oak being killed for Blair Stone Road.
Our city landscape decorator will plant a crepe myrtle to take its
place.

* Who needs air quality standards? Now that Republicans can't use
Enron accounting, they've got to find other ways to make money.

* Why is everyone complaining about the Bush administration gutting
the Clean Air Act? It's what the American public said in November that
it wanted.

* Reckless warmongering, polluting the earth, tax cuts to the rich,
gutting the bill of rights, and still 57-percent approval rating?

* In no way is my patriotism an empty gesture; it's a public display
of pride for our country and graciousness for the freedom that allows
me to Zing!

* How does Cal Thomas keep these two thoughts in his head: We are the
leader among all nations and our government employees are lazy and
mediocre.