DOPE GETS SUSPECTS IN BIG TROUBLE AT COP PARTY

And you thought "Dumb & Dumber" was just a movie. From now on, it also
stands for a clueless pair of young men arrested early Saturday on drug
charges.

Ladies and gentlemen, say hi to Leonard Garland of Framingham and David
DeCristofaro of Marlborough, both 20.

Their powers of inductive reasoning -- or lack thereof -- stagger the
imagination.

There they were, on a Friday night, driving in Ashland, when they spotted a
group of cars parked at a house.

Cars generally mean people, and people, late at night, generally mean
party. So Garland went in, not knowing a soul, while his friend waited in
the car.

Once inside, Garland helped himself to a drink in the kitchen, walked over
to a man there and introduced himself with his first name, Leonard.

The man, in turn, told Garland that his first name was Matt.

He did not say his last name. But that would be Gutwill, as in Matt
Gutwill, an Ashland narcotics detective with 400 to 500 undercover buys
under his belt.

But, wait, it gets better.

The house belongs to another police officer, a friend of Gutwill who is a
Framingham police officer. Most others in attendance -- 20 or so -- were
also sworn officers of the law.

Our party-crasher might have been able to guess that he was among law
enforcement had he taken time to study the picture of the Framingham SWAT
team on the fridge. Or look at the sweatshirt worn by the host. It had the
words Burlington Police Academy and a pair of handcuffs stitched on.

Oblivious to these and other clues, Garland struck up a conversation with
Gutwill, never knowing he was a police detective.

One thing led to another, until Garland asked the detective if he wanted to
get high.

"I was incredibly taken aback," Gutwill said.

Gutwill later said he really wasn't looking to make a bust. Yet his
curiosity forced him to pose another question: Did Garland have anything to
get high with?

And Garland replied, "Ya, but let me get my buddy. We'll all get high."

Terrific.

Garland returned with his pal, DeCristofaro, who, according to Gutwill,
pulled out a bag of psychedelic mushrooms.

Gutwill turned down the mushrooms, saying they upset his stomach.

What about cocaine then? Garland had a gram he could sell.

"A gram?" Gutwill remembered saying. "That's not enough when I get going.
I'm going to need more."

No problem, said our rocket scientists. They could make some phone calls.
And they did.

But now there was a problem. The person they called did not like to make
drug deliveries to Ashland. There was a cop in town, a real jerk who liked
to arrest people. His name: Gutwill.

At that point, the host of the party -- remember he's a cop too -- told the
pair, "Ya, I know that cop. He's a (bleeping) (bleep)."

And Gutwill himself chimed in, "Gutwill arrested me twice."

By now, Gutwill had changed his mind about a bust. He would do it. Not
because his name was being tossed around -- "that put a smile on my face"--
but because the pair had shown him the mushrooms.

"At that point, I had no choice," he said.

So, in full view of the two, the party's host called the Ashland Police and
asked for a marked cruiser.

Then came the moment we've all been waiting for: Gutwill reached in his
pocket, a la Joe Friday, pulled out his ID and badge and said, "I'm Gutwill."

"The look on their faces was like they saw death knocking on their door,"
he said later.

When the flashing lights of the cruiser appeared, one tried to run, police
said, but both were easily detained.

Two years ago, Ashland Police Chief Roy Melnick said he decided to put two
detectives on narcotics full time, one of them Gutwill, and it's paid off.
"We've been hearing how they don't want to do the deals in Ashland," he said.

Now there's proof.

As for our party-crashers, both were arraigned on various drug charges
yesterday and released on $500 bail each.

And Gutwill? He is still shaking his head. "I've met a lot of dumb drug
dealers, but none this dumb."