MARIJUANA ISN'T THE WORST DRUG OUT THERE

I smoked a few joints of ganja last night. First, I raped a girl and then I
accidentally shot one of my friends. After I did that, I got so hungry, I
went to Taco Bell three times, and the weirdest thing happened: I killed a
little kid on a bicycle every time.

I mean, come on. Why are people trying to paint such a bad picture of
ganja? Where is the fight against addictive prescription drugs with
horrific side effects? Where is the fight against alcohol, which
contributes to domestic violence and car-related deaths? It's OK to take
some sore-throat medicine that might lead to heart failure or diarrhea, but
it is bad to smoke some leaves that make you jovial and hungry.

One advertisement said that one in three drivers charged with drunken
driving tests positive for tetrahydrocannabinol, the addictive chemical
found in ganja. So what? The advertisement was meant to deceive without
lying. THC stays in your adipose tissue for long periods of time. You can
test positive for THC after three months of smoking ganja. Yes, it impairs
judgment, but it is nowhere as debilitating as alcohol is. But, as we know,
ganja does not fund political campaigns.

I suffer anxiety attacks, and I was prescribed Paxil. Although Paxil
worked, I would frequently begin to tremble and there were sexual side
effects. Since I began smoking marijuana, I haven't suffered another
attack, and I don't have any more embarrassing side effects. If we are
going to fight drug abuse, let's do it across the board.

Clyde Purcell

Fourth-year chemistry student