SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY

The world is a crazy place. Most people are depressed, there is a war
raging 24 hours a day live on TV, the economy is in the tank and school is
fucking stressing you out.

The tension is building, you can feel your heartbeat in your fingertips and
you can't stop the pounding on the left side of your brain. That damn
foreign TA just failed you but you never knew what the fuck he was talking
about in the first place, you have no idea where you are going to live next
year, you're one page into a twelve-page essay and ran out of anything to
write about and the Princeton Review says GW students are among the least
happy in the country. There must be an end to this downright depressing
situation. How could you possibly ever relax?

The GW BongHit has the answer.

There are only a few things in the world that can truly relax you now. One
of them is sex, buts let's face it, you go to GW and are probably too ugly
to get laid. So we can only offer one suggestion. Follow our directions
carefully for serious relaxation, and hurry, time is of the essence.

Go get a bong, bypass the six-inchers, your kind of situation calls for the
four-footer. Now go to your shady neighbor and get some weed (watch out for
stems, sticks and seeds and tell him you're cool and don't want any crack).
Run back to your room, and plug the door behind you with a towel. Proceed
to pack the green goodness into the bowl. You're close now, probably only
seconds from mellowness, don't flip out, keep your hands steady.

Now take your lighter, ease it to the bowl and light that shit, inhale
until the white smoke turns yellow in the bong, ease out the bowl and take
one last breath ... wait ... wait ... wait ... now exhale.

Ahhhhh. Doesn't that feel good? That feeling of contention is drug induced,
but its OK man, you're high. Forget about that paper, throw on Zoolander,
grab the Funyans and float away to orange frappuccino land.