ARMED, READY

Local Police Department Possibly Too Ready For Threats

As I skimmed through the Baton Rouge Police Department's Web site recently I
noticed little information about the BRPD fighting terrorism in our area.
Granted, the Baton Rouge police have their hands full tracking the serial
killer, so all their resources may not be allotted to fighting terror.

One police department in this state is fully dedicated and prepared for
terrorist scenarios, though. The Opelousas Police Department seems to be one
of the most enigmatic police departments in the nation. Serving a town of
22,860 people, one wouldn't think a city with such a small population would
need such a large, armed-to-the-teeth police department. Let me explain.

In Opelousas, police fight the War on Terrorism and the War on Drugs as if
they were conventional wars -- with sophisticated Swiss machine guns and
armored vehicles. In addition to regular officers and SWAT team members, the
OPD has the Strike Force.

"The OPD Strike Force is a highly professional, disciplined, mobile,
flexible, and hard-hitting unit with a 'survival attitude', superbly
trained, completely equipped, and possessing an outstanding overall
intelligence and hostage negotiation' capability," the OPD Web site
(www.opelousaspd.com) says.

The Strike Force uses an armored amphibious assault vehicle -- a "heavily
fortified vehicle [which] is agile on both dry land and in water" --
according to the site. Strike force members do not dress in police uniforms,
but military fatigues. The motto of the Strike Force - "Capture the Fury" --
goes hand-in-hand with the site's description of the Force. The site says
"the OPD Strike Force strategy may well be a modification of military
special operations battle doctrine of a disruption/destruction sequence in
which the street drug dealers are first located, disorganized, fragmented,
and then ... defeated."

Right.

In addition to a rather diverse armory, the OPD has incredible individual
police officers. The International Police Olympic Games were held in Ottawa,
Canada from August 3 to 10, 2002. According to the OPD Web site, the OPD
sent officer Rodney May to compete. May took home the silver medal in the
100, 200 and 400-meter dashes and the gold in the 4 by 100 meter relay,
sprint medley and long jump.

That's right. I bet you never knew one of the fastest cops in the world
calls Opelousas home.

In addition to the Strike Force, the OPD has chosen to editorialize its
press releases. The following is taken from a press release detailing the
arrests of members of the Irish Travelers, a group of criminals known for
skill in extortion and forgery:

"The tick attaches itself to the Great Dane and holds with a powerful grip.
Slowly, but with unwavering determination, it begins to draw blood from its
host. The leech, with its anesthetic saliva and razor-sharp teeth, bores
into the flesh of its prey. The numbing attributes of this parasite are such
that its victim, many times, is unaware of its presence until it is finally
seen with the eye. Then, having gorged itself, sometimes tripling in size,
it releases its grip."

You can read the full press release at
http://www.opelousaspd.com/News%2012-17-02.htm.

I salute the OPD's admirable attempt to smite the vile octopus of crack and
cocaine ( http://www.opelousaspd.com/News%2002-13-02.htm ). But to resort to
such bizarre and unnecessary tactics falls out of the realm of propriety.
Certainly, armored assault vehicles are not necessary to thwart domestic
crack dealers and terrorists.