DRUGS AND CHOICES

Today's children know a lot about drugs from school lessons, friends and
viewing use in movies and on television. They probably also know someone at
school who deals or who knows of someone who does.

If we are going to have a meaningful discussion with them, we need to be
certain of the basics ourselves. We need to have up-to-date knowledge about
the drugs available and we need to have some understanding of the problems
they face with regard to them.

Why do children experiment? Researchers, such as David Wilmes, get these
sorts of responses from teens: "I wanted to see how I'd feel."

"I just wanted to have some fun."

"I like to try new things."

"I wanted to be part of the group."

"Everyone else is and no-one's brain has rotted yet."

"I'm no nerd."

"Nobody tells me what I can and can't do."

"You've got to give things a go and find out for yourself."

"The excitement."

"Drugs are cool; they make you feel good."

Parents tend to have a different perspective: "The school doesn't do enough."

"Other parents can't control their kids."

"It's the crowd he got involved with."

"The police aren't doing enough to lock up the pushers."

"The media glorifies drug taking."

"Rock and film stars set a bad example."

Notice how the youngsters tend to own the reasons but the parents tend to
look outside, pointing the finger elsewhere. The truth is probably
somewhere in between but weighted towards the teens' responses. They can
and do make choices, they can and do move peer groups if it suits and they
can and do take on board messages presented in a way that has meaning to them.

We need to be available to help them make responsible choices as a
knowledgeable resource person, guide and authority, but must not take over
the making of those choices. This can be counter-productive.

Intervention should only come when danger is actually apparent. There has
to be a degree of trust on our part. This is not always easy, especially
because drug choices tend to be made when we are not around.

Nevertheless, these choices are not greatly different to any other choices
and behaviours that have been discussed in this column during the past
three years.

The way we structure our family life, the decisions we make, the
communication channels we set up and the examples we set go a long way
towards "drug-proofing" our children. This does not mean they won't
experiment; that the thrill-seeker among them will not give things a go.

However, it does mean there will be an underlying set of values based on
sound and understood reasons. These will kick in eventually.