MP BERNARD LOSES OUT IN POLITICAL RACE

BERNARD Jenkin has lost the next general election to the Liberal Democrats,
with the Legalise Cannabis Alliance taking second place.

The MP for north Essex was beaten into fifth place despite controlling his
spin and avoiding stalling in his race to the winning post.

The alternative election was organised by BBC's Top Gear programme on
Sunday night when representatives from six political parties took to the
race track with the fastest lap winning the election.

Tory Mr Jenkin posted a track time of one minute, 41.8 seconds to finish
fifth. The only candidate slower was the Monster Raving Loony Party, which
fluffed its lap time.

John Ault of the Liberal Democrats posted the fastest time with 1.33.9,
followed by the Legalise Cannabis Alliance (1.36.5) Labour (1.38.8), Green
(1.41), Conservative (1.41.8) and finally Raving Loony (2.13).

Top Gear had rigged up a Tannoy system on the car, an MG ZR 1.8 litre, to
provide suitable music for the candidates. Mr Jenkin was greeted by Jerusalem.