PARENTS TO PARENTS

The father looked stunned as a Grand Prairie juvenile court judge
administered a tongue-lashing to his teen-age son. The caustic reality
check quickly caught the attention of my own son, who was there because of
a speeding ticket.

"You're a druggie," she said in disgust as the boy stood before her. She
turned to Dad and asked, "When was the last time you had your son drug-tested?"

The man stumbled for words. This was the first time that the boy had ever
been in trouble, he replied.

The judge tsked at the man's failure to see the obvious clues: the boy's
mannerisms, his dress. A lot of drug-abusing teens wind up in her
courtroom, the judge said, and this boy showed the same signs.

Such stories do not surprise Tony Arangio, the Arlington school district's
director of parent relations.

Since 1997, Arangio has administered the district's federally funded safe
and drug-free schools program.

To generate awareness about drug and alcohol experimentation among students
as young as fourth-graders, Arangio would set up sessions for parents that
involved dozens of social service agencies that deal with the problems.

"Nobody would be there," Arangio said. "Sometimes the vendors would
outnumber the parents. We couldn't get the parents to come. We did them in
the afternoon, in the evening, on Saturdays, in every part of town. We fed
people; we provide buses to get them there."

But nothing worked. And, Arangio thought, the idea of saving one kid at a
time wasn't enough. He needed something better.

Then he revisited a program called Parent to Parent, developed by the
Passage Group, an organization based in Atlanta and formed in 1988 by Bill
Oliver.

The idea behind Parent to Parent is, simply, to get parents to talk to one
another about parenting, to network the same way that children do.

"The program is geared to making parents aware of the toxic culture that
their kids are exposed to," said Mary Hibbs, who administers the Parent to
Parent program for Arlington schools. "A culture where violence and sex are
seen as entertainment, where drug and alcohol abuse are entertainment.

"Parents are often the last to know what's going on," Hibbs said. "They're
afraid to get in the way. And this program just empowers them to be a
barrier between their kids and the toxic culture."

Using about $230,000 in federal grants, Arangio and Hibbs started the local
Parent to Parent program about a year and half ago. The series of eight
videotapes offers simple advice, such as knowing who your children are out
with, being their chauffeur, and networking with other parents who may be
experiencing similar problems.

Arangio likes the videotapes because they aren't preachy and "there's no
psychobabble." The tapes were reworked to be much more attuned to the
current culture to which children are exposed.

Drug abuse isn't just marijuana, crack or alcohol; sometimes it means
children are using parents' anti-depressants, cough medicines, even
medications for hyperactivity.

The videotaped sessions can be presented and discussed anywhere that
parents congregate, even in homes. No more trying to drag parents to a
special event.

"This doesn't require us to be the presenter," Arangio said. "Parents
present to parent in whatever venue they want. All they need is a little
training."

Arangio and Hibbs, who is the district's community and family outreach
liaison, acknowledge that schools today often are forced to be surrogate
parents to many students.

But what a poor substitute.

Parents may not need a license to raise children, but sometimes they sure
need an education.

To learn more, call Arangio or Hibbs at (817) 801-1953 or 801-1915. Or you
can visit the Web site at www.thepassagegroup.com.

- -- Gary Hardee is publisher of the Arlington Star-Telegram.