DRUG USE IS A CONTINUUM

Sometimes, despite the effort we feel we have put in, we discover our
youngster has been using drugs. These will probably be nicotine, alcohol or
marijuana. They could be others, but it would be unusual for any of those
to be the first used.

You will have varying reactions depending on which it is. However, they are
all drugs.

Nicotine is highly addictive and is a proven health risk. Alcohol is
readily abused and is a proven contributor to road deaths and public and
domestic violence. Use of marijuana is illegal, a proven physical and
mental health risk, a contributor to road deaths and puts youngsters in
touch with others involved in criminal activity.

Most will try these drugs for the fun of it, for the feeling, for curiosity
or for the risks involved. Some will continue to use because most of their
friends do, life isn't fun without it and "it doesn't cause any problems
anyway". Adults tend to use alcohol for these three reasons.

A smaller number will start to become dependent on the substance and it
will become an important part of their life. Adults tend to use nicotine
for this reason. Our youngster's reasons will be to escape, avoid
responsibilities and avoid problems, many of which are caused by use. His
values will have changed slightly to accommodate the use - perhaps by lying
or stealing money to purchase. Friendship groups may have changed and be
made up of slightly older people. School performance may have slipped.

Confrontation brings aggressive and angry responses.

The final stage of use is dependency. Our youngster needs the substance to
feel normal. Those addicted to nicotine will know the feeling. He will want
to avoid physical and psychological pain and won't be able to function
without symptoms of withdrawal when he hasn't managed to have a top up.

Our youngster is now in the realm of addiction, potential overdose,
emotional problems, legal problems, and maybe suicide attempts, depending
on the drug.

What I have described is a spectrum of use from non-use, to
experimentation, to occasional use, to habitual and intensive use. Probably
80% of youngsters will experiment with at least two substances by age 18. A
much smaller but growing percentage will progress further.

Your obvious love, openness and genuine concern for their wellbeing all of
the time, not just when it is convenient, are a great preventive against
progression along the spectrum. You have not been afraid to take the hard
decisions and to set fair limits and logical and consistent consequences
along the way. You do this because you love your children and care for
their safety, even when it has seemed too hard a job.