BEACH FUZZ

The residents of Huntington Beach would like to thank you for the kick-ass
job you did on me recently. Thanks for busting down the door because you had
an "anonymous tip." Thanks for the compliments on growing the best weed
you'd ever seen. Thanks for focusing on me while ignoring the ex-cons,
rapists, tweakers and violent offenders of all kinds in the complex behind
my home. Thanks for setting me straight, for showing me how bad I really
was--the supposed kingpin of a huge marijuana-cultivation circle. And thanks
last of all for stealing cash, receipts and baseball cards worth thousands
of dollars--no, really, it's okay! I want your kids to enjoy stolen
property!

I'll certainly straighten up now that you've bitch-slapped me into seeing
how dangerous marijuana is. I promise to ignore the counterexample you
provided by belittling me while you ransacked my house, trying to pick up on
my girlfriend while busting us, and exaggerating the weight of marijuana you
found. With any luck, we'll get to see each other every day--when you're
busted on corruption charges and end up in the Orange County Jail.