MAKE IT ALL LEGAL

EDITOR: I see where Canada wants to legalize marijuana, or rather,
decriminalize it.

This strikes me as a real good idea. By legalizing drugs, we remove
that crime from the books and we can focus on other societal problems.
Of course, if legalizing drugs reduces the crime rate, then maybe we
should consider taking it a few steps further.

We could start by legalizing murder, robbery and rape. Not only would
this drastically reduce the crime rate, we could use it to assist in
balancing the state budget. For example, if you want to kill your
neighbor, you could stop by the county courthouse and pick up a murder
license for, say, two hundred bucks. The license would specify the
means, say shooting, and you get a set number of shots to down that
sucker. If you miss, you're out of luck and have to go back and get
another license. Of course, in the meantime, your neighbor may go and
get a license to do you in.

We could do the same thing with theft - sell a license for a
particular house or business, and it would give you set time and date
to perform your services.

Yep, by legalizing things, society will get so much kinder and
gentler, and just think, we can get rid of some of the excess
population, clean out the jails and create some really great new
career opportunities.

STEVEN LUSK

Johnson City