THE ADS ARE RIGHT; KIDS LISTEN TO PARENTS

WOLFEBORO - You've seen them on TV, the public service announcements, with
a surly teenager urging parents to ask their kids where they are going and
with whom. The tag line is "Parents, the anti-drug." Maybe at the end
you've even scoffed and said, "Yeah, right."

The 70 people who attended "What Your Kids Know That You Don't the Teens'
Turn to Speak" last Thursday in the Kingswood Regional High School
auditorium heard that the ads are indeed right. The panel of seven girls
and three boys stated repeatedly that parents need to set rules and provide
a good example.

The evening was a follow up to a similar program in October titled "What
Your Kids Know That You Don't." Karen Lovett, who is the Prevention
Coordinator at Kingswood High and Middle Schools, pediatrician Dr. Harley
Heath of Wolfeboro Pediatrics and psychotherapist Walter M. Hoyt,
L.I.C.S.W., organized both events.

During the program in October the adults, who provided information about
the health effects of drugs and alcohol and warning signs of substance use,
did most of the talking. There were also some teens present who answered a
few questions.

The feed back from the first event was that it was informative, but people
wanted to hear more from the teenagers. Thursday night they had their
chance. Audience members were provided with index cards on which they could
write questions. After each teen had an opportunity to make a prepared
statement, a selection of the questions was answered. Lovett explained that
the students were not necessarily speaking from personal experience, and
although she reviewed what they were going to say, statements were the
students' own ideas. She then handed over the microphone.

Casey pointed out that using drugs and alcohol should not be a normal part
of growing up.

Megan, a freshman, said that asking the famous questions of "who, what,
when and where" is good and urged parents to be involved in their child's life.

Sophomore Jamie said she knows people whose parents drink and use drugs
with them. "Parents need to be parents," she said. She pointed out that
hosting a party with alcohol and taking car keys isn't safe because the
kids can get alcohol poisoning, or another negative effect.

Jonathan, a junior, agreed. He said that when parents use drugs and alcohol
with their children, it gives the child permission to use substances
elsewhere. He suggested that parents can take their kids bowling or to the
movies if they want to do something together.

"The most valuable thing you can give your kid is your time," Emily, a
senior, said. She pointed out that kids validate themselves based on their
parents' feedback.

Freshman Toni said that talking to children is more important than people
think. She said it is also important to meet your children's friends and
the parents of those friends. She urged people to talk to their spouses
about what they would say about drug and alcohol use in order to present a
united front and not send mixed messages.

Brennan, a senior, spoke about teenage depression, which he said is an
important issue that is often overlooked. Any depression lasting more than
two weeks is of concern. He reminded the audience that the teenage years
are "the first taste of life" and are not always easy. He said it is
important for parents to help their child through it. Although parents may
love their kid, the kid may not know it. He concluded by urging parents to
pay attention to personality changes.

Stacy, an eighth grader, told parents to set guidelines, but also to listen
to their child's point of view because times have changed and the things
kids experience today are different from what the parents experienced at
the same age.

Lauren, another eighth grader, said that from what she can see, 85 percent
of the students at the middle school have tried drugs and alcohol, and
about 45 percent of them are using regularly. Later in the evening, Heath
said a 2001 study showed that 30 percent of eighth graders used illicit
drugs and 60 percent of seniors did. The difference in statistics puzzled
some audience members, but Lovett pointed out that if Lauren's perception
is 85 percent, it shows there is a problem.

Shane, a junior, wrapped up the statements and told the adults that drugs
are "not the same as when all of your were doing it." Which brought some
laughter from the audience. Using marijuana as an example, Shane pointed
out that the drug itself is stronger and often laced with other substances.

Echoing things the students had said, Lovett pointed out that kids may not
always listen to adults, but never fail to imitate them. She reminded that
using drugs and alcohol with kids is illegal and also pointed out that good
friends do not give their friends drugs.

The students said drugs they see in the community are marijuana, ecstasy,
OxyContin, acid, cocaine, mushrooms, Adderall, which is a prescription drug
used to treat ADD and "anything you can get high on." They said the drugs
are obtained from older friends, parents, older siblings, "people on the
street" and on trips out of state.

During the question and answer session, a suggestion was read to have
adults in the school hallways and bathrooms and to implement random drug
tests. The teens were not impressed. Brennan suggested that instead of
trying to have more control, there should be more of a focus on talking to
kids about the importance of not using drugs.

"Teach them values," he said, and principles to live by. Shane pointed out
that unless someone is watching when the kid provides the urine sample,
there are ways to get around a drug test. Dr. Heath added that studies show
that drug tests do not always deter use.

The students were asked what is the "most important" thing that can be done
to change drug use in school. Most of them said they did not know of a
single important change, but they had several suggestions. Shane and Megan
urged parents to lead by example and not use drugs. Jamie and Jonathan said
that good friends and parents who are involved and set rules are important.
"Just be irritating" by asking about your child's activities, Jamie said.

Lauren suggested that students should discuss the fact that they don't do
drugs and still have fun, in contrast to people who brag about their drug
or alcohol use. Brennan said it is helpful for kids to know they can use
their parents as an excuse to avoid parties or other situations, with
excuses like "My dad would kill me if he knew I was drinking." He said such
excuses carry weight since everyone knows you have to obey your parents'
rules when you live at home.

The students were also asked about what tactics they use to stay healthy.
Brennan said he is an athlete and being part of a team and contributing
helps him. Shane said he surrounds himself with people who don't do drugs.
He said sometimes he will hang out with people who do use drugs in order to
remind himself why he doesn't use and to try to help them stop.

Jonathan said that he confronts people who use drugs and has yet to hear a
good reason to use. "If your brain is being screwed up, it's not a good
time," he declared. He said he also doesn't want to risk losing his
parents' trust.

Casey said she tries to stay happy, while Jamie said she keeps busy with
art and music. Megan also keeps busy, but said there need to be more
activities in town. She said she keeps the consequences of drug and alcohol
use in mind, but the most important thing is knowing that people love her.

"Drugs are a waste of time, energy and money," Toni said. She bases this
opinion on watching people she knows who use drugs and observing what they
go through to get more.

Lauren and Stacy both said they attended teen leadership programs through
the school that taught them the negative aspects of drug and alcohol use
and also taught them strategies to avoid drugs. They also mentioned talking
to their parents, good friends and healthy alternative activities.

People in the audience who were not parents but are just concerned
community members wanted to know what they could do to help. The teens gave
them similar advice to what they said about the parents-set a good example,
attend events such as this one, suggest places people can find help and
support student activities, such as school sports.

Lovett reminded the audience that just being present at such an event helps
make a difference in the community. "Kingswood doesn't have a drug problem,
but our community does," she said. She pointed out that Carroll County has
the highest percentage of alcohol use in the state. Hoyt agreed that just
attending was a good first step. "These guys know what they're talking
about," he said of the teen panel. He urged those in attendance to ask
their friends why they didn't attend as well.

"Just because we're in rural New Hampshire doesn't mean we're immune to
these problems," Heath said. He added that informational programs are not
enough and urged people to support alternative programs such as the
Kingswood Youth Center. --------------------------