METH STEALS 'EVERYTHING' GOOD IN LIFE

EDITOR'S NOTE: The Daily Post-Athenian has been publishing a series of
articles about the spread of methamphetamine and the impact it's had in
McMinn and Meigs counties. Today's article deals with the perspective of a
person with first-hand experience of the drug. -- A child of the 1970s and
1980s, she grew up in the drug-use glorifying days of the post-hippie era.

At the opening of the interview, she said she doesn't believe she's
"addicted," but readily admits the use of methamphetamine has changed her
life for the worse.

Meet "Jane."

Jane is a lifelong resident of McMinn County, in the age range of the
late-30s to early-40s. She's a high school graduate and earned a college
degree.

She also is deeply immersed in legal problems over the drug that has swept
into the region in the last few years.

Jane admits she used marijuana and drank alcohol while she was in high
school. The recreational use of drugs was widespread then, she said.

"I was 18 the first time I used coke," she said. She said she occasionally
used pills in her teen years, too; downers like Quaaludes or Valium.

A marriage and children came into the picture then, and sometime later, a
separation that drew drugs back to the forefront of her life.

Jane has used methamphetamine for the past year-and-a-half. She said she had
very few problems with the justice system until she first smoked meth.

"I won't lie to you, I like it," said Jane.

While she said she became addicted to prescribed pain medication, she
maintained early in the discussion that meth had no real physical hold on
her. But when the discussion turned to the costs of meth use, Jane's
comments about her drug usage gradually became darker.

Having raised her children -- "wonderful" children, she said -- Jane went
through a separation from her husband, then wanted only "to have a good
time."

"If I hadn't been a good mother, they (the children) wouldn't have been as
wonderful," she maintained. But the end of her marriage left her wanting a
return to happier times.

"I just wanted to have a good time," she said.

Meth was moving more heavily into the area at about the same time.

Jane at first maintained her current separation from her children is harder
on them than before she stopped smoking meth. But faced with her own
accounting of what her meth use has cost her, Jane's eyes welled up and her
voice quivered.

"I guess I did sort of get addicted to meth, the taste of the smoke, smoking
it," she said.

Jane said she continued to work for about six months after she first started
doing meth. Use of the drug escalated. Jane said she smoked more meth with
others and her life routine began to be dictated by getting and using the
drug.

Jane said she had seen other meth users "geeking out" -- a term for overuse
of the drug causing a person to act very anxious and irrational -- but she
said that she hadn't had that experience before.

Continuing to talk about the drug's effects, Jane said meth made her feel
good, took away pains, provided her with energy. But maintaining those
effects became the most important aspect of her life.

"It's taken everything away from me," she said, "my children, my home, any
kind of life -- until I get straightened out."

Jane said she didn't use the drug heavily enough to equal other users'
claims of having stayed up for as many as 20 days without rest. But then she
admitted she had once stayed awake for "six or seven days" without sleep.

"I can't say a whole lot good about it," she said.

Jane said meth's appeal is its availability and its long-lasting high and
the initial lack of residual effects.

But what are those residual effects, exactly?

Alcohol leaves the user hung over the next day. Cocaine often damages the
nasal cavities, causes heart damage and is highly addictive. Marijuana has
long been called a psychologically addictive drug by experts and can carry
even more health complications for the heavy user than tobacco.

Meth produces a feeling of well-being, she said, at least for a while. The
drug, like cocaine and other "uppers," can cause heart damage and damage to
other vital organs. It even changes personalities, according to Jane.

"It makes you feel like you can do anything, accomplish anything," said
Jane, "until you get to the point that you don't control the dope any more;
it controls you."

Jane said the worst effect of methamphetamine is the way it changes the
priorities of a person's life.

Jane said when she first started using meth, it seemed that everyone she
came into contact with was using the drug. She said meth was replacing other
drugs as the high of choice among users.

"It really is an epidemic out there now," she noted.

"I did lose a sense of my priorities while I was on meth," she said,
becoming more emotional. "I didn't spend as much time with (my children)."

Jane's tentative smile is gone, now.

"I physically wanted the meth," she said. "I didn't feel like I was
physically addicted, but my body would let me know."

Jane said use of methamphetamine took control of her life.

"You make that the most important thing, even in a daily routine. You know,
`What am I going to do to get my next buzz off meth?'" she said. "A lot of
people spend all their money on it."

Now, Jane said she is estranged from her family and children. She said she
has been separated from a man with whom she believes she can have a
meth-free future.

She said she fears what the long-range effect will be on her relationship
with her children.

"I always rebelled when I was their age," she said, tears streaming down her
face. "They're going through the things that I went through at their age."

She said she wants more than anything to be with them now.

"I don't want to do the drug anymore," she said. "You take a lot of things
for granted.

"I just want to be a mother, be a responsible adult, live a normal life,"
said Jane. "When you do meth, your life is not normal."

If she could have a second chance at life, Jane said she would definitely
change the way she lives.

"I definitely wouldn't associate with the same people. I'd go to my
children, I'd get a job and I'd be the mother I'm supposed to be."

Jane offers a few words of, if not wisdom, then warning.

"I would say to any person out there ... to stay away from meth," she said.
"I have learned that I can have a good time and feel good physically without
it. I wouldn't be where I am today -- without my children and my fiance --
if it weren't for meth.

"I believe that this is God's way of waking me up and saying, `Hey, you
could have a great life with your family if you stayed away from meth and
lived right.'"

Jane said when the meth user stops using the drug, life's priorities jump
back into focus with ferocity.

"We take a lot of things from granted," Jane said. "It's like the old
cliche, `You don't know what you had until it's gone.' And I want it back."

Asked to offer advice to those who are weekend partiers, advice for someone
who might decide to forego the usual beer and football weekend to experience
meth, Jane said, "I would want them to realize what it has cost me, and that
it can probably ruin their lives.

"It will affect your looks; it ages you," she said, "It ages your body, it
causes heart damage.

"It may be a good high and make you feel good, but the end result is you're
going to pay."

Jane said when the meth user's "bill" comes, "If you don't pay with your
life (by dying), you'll be paying with your life (as you know it)."