IF YOUR CHILD SMOKED POT, WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO BE TOLD?

Q: My daughter swore me to secrecy before telling me her girlfriend
is still smoking pot even though her parents think otherwise. Her
parents knew she used to smoke pot. My daughter thinks she can handle
it better now. Should I tell the girl's parents and break my promise
to my daughter?

A: I advise parents to err on the side of safety and well-being.
Assuming the girlfriend's parents are reasonable and nonabusive, I
would certainly go ahead and tell them.

Worrying about her parents getting angry or upset is not the same as
being abusive and you may have to help your daughter understand this
difference.

Further, even though you promised your daughter otherwise, her friend
is at risk and needs help. You cannot be held to secrecy on a bad
promise when someone's well-being is at risk.

In case your daughter thinks smoking pot is innocuous, consider this:
cannabis alters perceptions of reality and judgment.

Not only is this child at risk from many issues associated with
smoking alone, but also, statistically, those who do smoke pot have
more school-related problems and social problems. Girls are at
greater risk of pregnancy as a result of poor decision making and
being with the wrong crowd while intoxicated.

Therefore, the risk of smoking pot extends far beyond what your
daughter may consider. Knowing this now, wouldn't you want to be told
if your child were smoking pot?

Next week: Our nine-year-old daughter has become sullen and
withdrawn. What should we do?

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