Human Resources

A CRACK DEALER TELLS HIS SIDE OF THE STORY

I'm sitting in a crack house. It's a nice house: a clean, cozy, middle
class home. I've come to ask the proprietor a few questions, hoping to gain
some insight into the mind of a practitioner of the world's second oldest
profession.

It's Friday night, and business is not slow. In fact, this interview took
forever, because customers kept interrupting us. They didn't seem to notice
me there or care that I was in the middle of a sentence, but the room went
dead quiet the minute he bowed his head to pray over his dinner, and not a
sound was made again until he took his first bite. He might be in an
unsavory business, but he certainly commands respect from those around him.
He's an intelligent man who went to private school and has some college. I
quite obviously can't tell you his name, so I'll call him "John Doe."

Flagpole: Does your mom know what you do for a living?

John Doe: I think she has a idea. I never told her.

FP: Would it bother you if she did know for sure?

JD: Not really. It's not an open topic, because, you know, she don't really
wanna know.

FP: Do you make a lot of money? Or do you just get by?

JD: Well, let's put it this way. You can make a lot of money. But as to
whether I make a lot of money or just get by, it all depends on the seasons
of things: the climate, police actions, whatever the circumstance.

FP: Do you like what you do?

JD: No, I wouldn't necessarily say I like it. Let's say that if I was going
to start all over, it wouldn't be a career choice. [Laughs.] It'd be the
last thing! [Laughing] It'd be the last thing I'd do!

I've been on crack. So I know the magnitude of it.

FP: Would you recommend it as a career to anyone else?

JD: Nope!

FP: Why not?

JD: All the bullshit you have to put up with. There's a very, very sharp
downside to it. The possibility of the penitentiary, being scorned by
society...

FP: Obviously there are legal issues with your job, how do you feel about
the police?

JD: I understand that we need some kind of law and order, because we'd have
chaos if we didn't, but I don't think the law should be so hypocritical.
Because to me, they, you know, the people which I call the law, in charge,
kinda set the stage for this kind of activity to go on. Because in a lot of
ways they can stop it. They claim they can stop anthrax from coming in the
country, surely they can stop illegal drugs coming in. So the police
department makes more money off of it than they do anything else. So I see
a downside on that behalf, you know: nobody's not really serious about it.

FP: Do you think it should be legal?

JD: Yeah, just like a certain age, you know. It'd take the crime out of it,
if you could go to the store and get it. Just like, everybody don't drink,
but you can go to the store and get it. So everybody wouldn't go out and
purchase illegal drugs because they just don't want it. It'd take all the
bullshit out of it: take the law out of it. Like they got a lot of
countries where it is legal. The crime rate is very low there.

My conscience is no worse than any guy that sells alcohol or the doctor
that push pills.

FP: How do you feel about the "drug war," and drug policy in this country?

JD: It's a joke. A joke. Because, I don't think they're serious about it.
Because how can you just lock somebody up that has a problem and not try to
fix the problem? I mean, you know when you turn 'em loose they're still
gonna be a mad dog. We get a dog, we go lock him up, we don't treat his
ailment, we turn him loose, he's still gonna be the same dog.

FP: Do you expect to get away with it, or do you expect to someday get caught?

JD: You don't do anything expecting the worst. You expect the best, but you
also have to be a realist about it, too. Which means that whatever comes
your way you got to be prepared mentally to deal with it. There ain't no
need in freaking out, start hollerin' and screaming. Shit, be 21. You were
21 when you was having fun. You got to be 21 when it's time to pay the
piper. You just deal with it like that, and you'll be okay. It's about like
a woman having a baby; you got to go through it; baby isn't going to stay
in, it's got to come out. You're gonna have to go do that time; ain't no
need in crying.

FP: What do you think is a reasonable penalty for selling drugs?

JD: No more than the penalty for selling alcohol to a minor: fines and
probation. Evidently, we've been at this some 20-odd years; we've been
broadcasting that we're having this war against drugs, Ain't nobody had no
problem finding nobody to sell 'em nothin'. So that shit ain't working. So
we need to change it up! [Laughs] After 20 years, looks like we'd try it
another way. Evidently, it ain't deterring anyone.

Once you create the atmosphere, like I said, the government's created all
this bullshit anyway, so you got a person here that can't even find
employment, say he's 25, 26 years old, he's got three kids, he's working at
McDonald's, how many babies is that gonna feed? Not too many. Yeah, you can
say he shouldn't have had that many kids, but hell, they're here now. So
what am I supposed to do, let my fuckin' kids go hungry? I'm gonna do
whatever I got to do to feed 'em, even if that means I have to bring 'em
over and set 'em at your table. It's just a livelihood, but it was all
created by someone besides us. We didn't create this bullshit. It could be
a better way. But it ain't.

FP: What goes through your mind when you see a first-time user buying or
doing it?

JD: I try not to deal with any first-time users. Because they might not
know the magnitude of the drug, see. I've been on crack. So I know the
magnitude of it. So I wouldn't advise anyone or even try to sell anyone
some if it was their first time. I would try to talk 'em out of it.

You were 21 when you was having fun. You got to be 21 when it's time to pay
the piper.

FP: So you have used it yourself, and it had a negative effect on you?

JD: Well it tore up my family, you know, put me in financial ruin. So, you
know, it has a very down side to usin' it. And it gets you in trouble with
the law. You know, it ain't no positive thing to do, under the present
situation we have in this country. By it being illegal.

FP: Do you use anything now?

JD: No, not no... chemicals.

FP: Do you drink?

JD: Beer. I don't drink liquor. I seen a lot of people when I was comin' up
that was alcoholics. So I kinda like swore the liquor off. Like a lot of
kids don't use illegal drugs because they've seen what it did to their
parents. So you know the beast will have to create something new for them.

FP: How do you sleep? First of all, are you concerned about your safety?

JD: If you're a wealthy guy, and you keep all of your jewelry at home, you
can't sleep too good, because you think someone's gonna come get it. But if
you have them in a safe, you'll sleep very soundly. So that's the same
here. If I know I'm clean, I can sleep okay, because if you come in, you
get nothing.

FP: Secondly, does your conscience bother you?

JD: My conscience is no worse than any guy that sells alcohol or the doctor
that pushes pills. Or a person that goes around with AIDS and give other
people AIDS. So, there's a lot of things to feel guilty about, but I try
not to beat myself up all the time about petty bullshit, as I see it,
because only God can judge.

FP: So, do you feel like the moral responsibility belongs to the user?

JD: It's like this right here: I was of sound mind and the right age when I
started using it, so who do I blame?

FP: What's one thing you would never do personally?

JD: I wouldn't sell to a kid. I wouldn't try to use drugs as a sex thing.
Where, you know, I'm just gonna manipulate you to be my whore for drugs.
I've got sisters, and I would hate to see someone do that to them.

FP: What kinds of things have people tried to trade to you for crack?

JD: Anything you can think of. From yachts to hemorrhoid cream, toothpaste,
deodorant, condoms, body parts; they'll approach you with the idea of
pawning false legs and shit to you. It does get ridiculous, I'm like "where
did you find that shit at?" [Laughs] Some very interesting things, man.
Some of it's comical, man. Somebody comes knockin' at your door at three
o'clock in the morning with a box of safety pins. Telling you that you
could get some money off of 'em if you sold 'em. Why don't you sell 'em?
You be like, "This guy is crazy!" They'll ask you, "Are you hungry?" and
you say "Yeah, I'm kinda hungry," but you're thinking about going to a
restaurant and getting something to eat, and five minutes later, they'll be
back with a hot plate. You be like, "What?" They just might stop at
anybody's house to get it, too. A Jake (crack head), man, cause like I
said, I used to smoke, and a Jake go out there, he is very creative. The
shit he could do, they should have a show about it. Really. I'm serious,
man, cause it's part of America, and some people could identify. Cause some
people are sleeping with these people. They stay somewhere, now. They ain't
all on the streets; some of 'em are in your house. You're sleeping with the
enemy. Laughs.

FP: So, it's not working.

JD: You know what I'm saying? I don't know what America's doing with this
judicial system, but I ain't buying their bullshit, cause the people are
right here, and we can't get rid of 'em. We either got to cure 'em, and if
we ain't gonna do the cure thing, then, I mean, we got to tolerate this
bullshit. You can't get rid of them. They're not doing life sentences. And
don't give me that bullshit of you gonna lock 'em up, cause you got to let
some out to do it. The jails are already overcrowded. I mean, it's a
revolving door. The Democrats put a lot of money in the jails and the
Republicans take all of the money out of the jails, and so, you know who's
in the house.

FP: How would you feel if a member of your family started using crack?

JD: I have members of my family that use crack.

FP: Do you sell to them?

JD: You look at it like this right here: they are going to buy it from
somebody anyway. And if you sell it, you're gonna end up being the giver,
so quite naturally, yeah, you'll sell it to them. But, then again, that all
depends on age, too.

FP: How does it affect your relationships to people, in general?

JD: Well, most people don't know what you really do. You know, they might
have an idea, but they don't really know. Like I don't know what my
neighbor does when he goes home. So, the relationship you have is the one
that you bring to the table.

FP: What is it about you that makes you good at your job? What skills does
it take?

JD: You gotta be a people person, in that people have to, kind of like -
like you, trust you, believe in you to a certain extent, knowing that
you're not gonna try to sell them any bullshit. Not try to rip them off,
not try to rob them, stuff like that, because robbery goes both ways. It's
not only the people that buy it that do that crime; sometimes it's the
people selling it also do that crime, as far as ripping people off. Yeah,
you have to be a people person, because you deal with a lot of different
people. Because, if you don't like people, you know, you're not gonna do
very well in sales.

FP: Do you have certain area or territory that you deal with that no one
else does?

JD: A lot of cities have that, but this city doesn't. It's such a
small-knitted community that everybody is some kin. The only way you can
really control territory is if you use muscle. And so that means you would
probably have to kill somebody in your family, or somebody you went to
school with, or somebody you'd dated's cousin, sister or brother, somethin'
like that, so... The muscle is not, you know, um, I think the way most of
it is controlled here is through snitching. You snitch somebody out to get
them out of the way. That's the only way you really can control it without
using force.

FP: Does that happen in this town?

JD: Yeah, a lot.

FP: Do you know other guys that do what you do?

JD: Yeah, at least if you don't know each other on a personal basis, they
know of you, heard of you, seen you or something like that.

FP: Do you have much interaction with each other at all?

JD: Some do, and it's usually the youth, because you're still experiencing,
you're still trying to pick out who you're gonna be hanging around with the
rest of your life. So, you know, you've got your little cliques there, but
most people, when they get to a certain age, kinda hang by theirself. You
give other people respect, meaning that you know what a person do, you know
if he's good at it or bad at it and that's it. You don't really go to the
country club together.

FP: Someone in your position would gain some insight that it'd be hard to
learn any other way - agree or disagree?

JD: You get to see it from both sides. You ain't always been on this side
of the law. At one time, you were standing with the law. If you've only got
that side to look at, you can only see it from that way. FP: So you feel
like it's broadened your horizons?

JD: Definitely. You learn more about people and what people really do -
through addiction, through self-righteousness, preaching, whatever. FP: Do
you get a lot of that?

JD: Well, you know, you've got a lot of people that's self-righteous, and
you get a lot of people preaching to you from both sides.

FP: Do you believe in God?

JD: Sure.

FP: How does this relate to your job?

JD: Well, I think Jesus made wine, it's got alcohol in it, and alcohol
kills. They tell me to love him.

FP: What would you say to the children of the world?

JD: That they need to look at us, and try to fix the problems that we done
created instead of going against each other. Not looking at things in a
very narrow scope and just thinking about self, because a man cannot exist
without another man. Metal sharpens metal, man sharpens man, so we need
each other.

FP: What would you like to tell the world? Either in defense of your
position or do you have any philosophy you'd like to impart?

JD: About being narrow-minded - because, especially in America, because
it's the only country I know, people are very narrow-minded. Take the war
that we just got through fighting: everybody knows it was bullshit. When
you go home, and you remember the question you asked me, do I sleep well -
well, America oughta ask itself, do it sleep well. We killed innocent
people, innocent people. And when I say "we," we are all American. So don't
start saying you didn't pick up no pistol. Your money, your tax dollars
killed him. So the blood is on your doorstep, too. So don't be so naive;
don't be so gullible to the bullshit that go on around you, and stop
judging people that you really don't know. You need to get to know me on a
personal level before you try to judge me. I can't judge you; I don't hang
around you. I see you and maybe I'll form beliefs or convictions about you,
but all that shit could be false. You know how you meet someone and as the
relationship grows, you start finding out some of the shit you thought they
did, they didn't do. You find out some of the shit you thought about 'em
wasn't true. And you're like, "Hey, that guy ain't as bad as I thought he
was." You gotta learn to meet people. So, as a society, I'd like to tell
everybody: stop being so gullible for the bullshit. Stop jumping on that
self-righteous bandwagon.