THE TROUBLE WITH TINA

Experts Say Crystal Meth Is Worst 'Club Drug' Addiction to Kick

For nine years, crystal methamphetamine was a "totally manageable"
drug for "Carlos," a 35-year-old D.C. man who asked to remain anonymous.

His use was limited to the weekends to attain a high that he shared on
the dance floor or at small parties with friends. One of his favorite
activities was taking a bump of crystal on a Saturday morning, turning
up the stereo and cleaning the house.

But in early 2001, the frequency of Carlos' use of crystal meth
increased to dangerous levels. The worry-free Saturday mornings were
supplanted by the drug's well-known menacing hold: binge bumping, lack
of sleep, recklessness and as Carlos describes it, an insatiable hunt
for "animalistic sex."

"I started doing things sexually on crystal that I wouldn't normally
do," said Carlos, who added that he and his partner never practiced
unsafe sex during their escapades. "My partner and I started doing
three-ways, and I soon found out that we were trying to top our last
sexual experience.

"Once you get into the true addictive stage [of crystal], the sexual
experience must be bigger than, and more intense than, the previous
one. If you did a three-way last weekend, you have to do two
three-ways the following weekend, or a four-way. At the time I felt
this was all perfectly reasonable and fine."

Crystal methamphetamine -- also known as, crystal, crank, tweak, T,
go-fast, speed and Tina -- is an amphetamine-based drug designed to
stimulate the central nervous system. It is typically snorted, smoked,
injected or swallowed and has become a favorite drug among club-goers,
notably among gay men.

Studies have shown that the preferred method for taking the drug
varies from region to region. According to a 2000 study by the
National Institute on Drug Abuse, 60 percent of crystal meth users in
San Diego prefer to smoke the drug, while a majority of users in the
Minneapolis area sniff it. In Texas, 60 percent of users were found to
be injecting the drug.

According to the 2000 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse, an
estimated 8.8 million people (four percent of the population) have
tried methamphetamine at some time in their lives, up from 4.8 million
in 1996.

Regional data suggest that the problem is on the rise among gay men.
In San Francisco, health officials estimate that up to 40 percent of
gay men have tried crystal meth, according to a report in the San
Francisco Chronicle.

In New York, a study last year found that more than 50 percent of gay
men who admitted to using drugs or alcohol in the previous year had
also tried crystal meth, up from 10 percent of gay men surveyed in
bars and clubs in 1998, according to research by the Center for
HIV/AIDS Educational Studies & Training.

One bump of crystal can result in a six-to 24-hour high, marked by a
decreased appetite and lowered inhibitions, said Joseph LaFleur, a
licensed, independent clinical social worker and club-drug counselor
in the D.C. area.

"Crystal meth gives one a sense of well-being and belonging," LaFleur
said. "People say they easily fit into most social situations, have
more energy for dancing, better interactions with people and a lot of
folks use it to enhance their sexual experiences."

But despite the perceived "benefits" the drug produces, the immediate
and long-term results are harmful, said Michael Siever, director of
the Stonewall Project, a harm reduction-counseling program for gay and
bisexual men in San Francisco.

"A lot of people, over time, start to get more and more paranoid,"
Siever said. "They get psychotic; the crash is horrible. Everyone is
ready to quit while they are crashing but that subsides. ... One of
the biggest side effects is that people don't take care of themselves
when they are high -- they don't eat, sleep -- and the drug has some
pretty long-term lasting effects on your brain chemistry. It strongly
impacts the dopamine in your brain and that does not heal quickly."

Siever described crystal abuse as an ongoing crisis that has been an
issue for many years. He said statistics in California show that it is
the most commonly used drug on the West Coast.

The Road to HIV

One of the biggest problems related to crystal abuse is its strong
link to risky sex and HIV transmission, Siever said.

"The two issues are intertwined," he said. "A lot of men shoot speed
and that's a possible method of HIV transmission. And secondly, the
reality for most gay men is that when they get high, they tend to have
sex. Speed keeps them high for days on end. They fuck as many people
as they can fuck with nary a condom in sight."

Recent statistics show that crystal methamphetamine use is on the
rise. Nearly 9 million people are estimated to have tried the drug in
2000. And even if the crystal user is wearing a condom, Siever said
that after several continuous hours of sex, the condom will eventually
wear and rip. "When many are high on crystal, they get into more
extreme sex, rougher sex, creating endless scenarios for HIV
transmission," Siever said. Carlos said his relationship with his last
boyfriend was built upon crystal. Both had a strong appetite for the
drug and neither bothered to "keep the other's habit in check."

When Carlos finally decided to go sober, he tried to maintain his
relationship. But Carlos found himself eager to indulge in the drug
during his partner's sporadic use and discovered that being exposed to
even the smallest amount of crystal was an impediment to kicking his
addiction.

The two parted ways when Carlos said he couldn't be in a relationship
where crystal was present.

"My partner said, 'Well, I'm not done yet,' so we broke up," Carlos
said. "This is the hallmark of crystal abuse. It hurts to think that
someone could choose a drug over a person. That a person can actually
say, 'I choose to continue using this drug over being with you.' Think
about that."

The Loneliest Number

Many gays feel alienated and tend to involve themselves with the drug
to help "connect" better with others, Siever said.

"Many are lonely and disconnected," Siever said. "The drug helps give
them an entree to a whole group of men. It seems like intimate
contact, but it is not. Everyone feels like you're their best friend.
The user goes from a shy, retiring wallflower to being the life of the
party."

Jim Singlar, who runs the outpatient program for the Pride Institute
in Manhattan, a program that provides treatment and counseling for
crystal abusers, said that by the time the addict contacts his group,
they often don't even remember why they started using the drug in the
first place. All they know is that they can't stop.

"It's the worst thing that I've ever seen come down the pipes,"
Singlar said. "Crystal is everything that cocaine is except it is
cubed. Some take weeks to get down to a baseline. Every 21 days of
their recovery, the bottom falls out of their mood and the drug talks
to them and says, 'You will never feel good unless you use me.'"

Sober for 93 Days

Carlos acknowledges that he will never be able to use crystal
recreationally again. He thought after 90 days of sobriety -- a
typical benchmark many crystal addicts set for themselves -- he could
use the drug "responsibly." He took a bump on his 93rd sober day and
said that any delusions that he harbored about being able to use the
drug again were erased.

Singlar said relapse rates are very high, especially after about three
weeks of sobriety.

At the height of his addiction, Carlos said he had hoped that with
each bump of crystal he would be whisked away to his carefree Saturday
mornings of cleaning the house, but all such desires were dashed after
his first bump.

"The non addict does a bump and enjoys it. The addict does a bump and
thinks about where the next one is coming from," Carlos said.

In what Carlos refers to as one of his more ironic moments during his
crystal addiction, he coordinated an intervention for a friend who was
abusing crystal. Carlos thought his problems were trivial after
listening to his friend's tales of hitting rock-bottom that once
included spending 12 consecutive hours in a bathhouse.

"I wasn't doing anything near that," Carlos said. "As long as I could
compare my stuff to his, I was fine."

Carlos is no longer using crystal and currently sees a psychiatrist
and has received a tremendous amount of support from his close
friends. He expressed disappointment in some friends who did not reach
out to help him.

"The addict faces a one-two punch when they are recovering," Carlos
said. "You are facing the addiction and the prospect of losing a
relationship. It's sad when people you consider friends don't reach
out."