PARENTS' ADDICTIONS HURT THEIR CHILDREN

It's really something else that most of us believe that if a child
comes from a home where one or both of their parents have had a
serious life of drug and/or alcohol abuse that this would deter a
child from ever wanting to use or be a part of the same life they grew
up to hate.

We couldn't be more wrong.

Although our children begin to dislike the behaviors we show through
addiction, such as broken promises, unpredictability,
irresponsibility, and possibly jeopardizing the well being of
themselves and/or the child or children involved they too often follow
the same patterns. This cycle or as others may call it, a generation
sin, has got to be broken. The cycle of addiction can be broken. It
just takes patience, understanding and even more important is the
thought process alteration. We have to instill enough confidence in
our children for them to believe that they do have a choice and that
it is possible for them to break this pattern. How many times have you
heard a child say, "I will never be like my Mom or my Dad." Or what
about, "I could never chose drugs over my children." Here's a classic,
"You wait until I have kids I'll make sure they never do any drugs."
These are all classic examples of what our children wish for themselves.

Ultimately, I truly believe that when a child comes from a life such
as this that they really don't want to become addicted either however,
statistics show that more children than less tend to wind up in
situations much like what they grew accustomed to. I can not emphasize
enough on how important it is to get some counselling not only for
yourself and your recovery but for the children involved as well. I
don't think a lot of us realize the trauma that our children suffer
after watching the transformation of who we turn into as addicts.

Yes children are fairly resilient, however some of the behaviors that
manifest sometimes in an addict are not the most pleasant. A lot of
times it has a lot to do with how our children normally look up to us.
We are suppose to be their mentors, their guardians, however in the
life of an addict it is hard for one to take care of themselves let
alone take care of a child or children.

As children adapt to that type of lifestyle they tend to have to take
care of themselves, for example, getting ready for school in the
morning, preparing their own breakfast and other meals as well,
settingA up their own schedules, not having anyone around to
discipline them, basically living very independently.

At first this may seem great for a child, however a child needs
boundaries in order to feel safe, protected, and reassured they are
loved. They need to feel some sense of security and by setting
boundaries and having order in their life it helps them to feel safer
and loved.

Try to remember that in your recovery your child or children may
possibly follow that same pattern of addiction, however do not let
that interfere with your sobriety. By showing your child that you can
maintain your sobriety even when difficult situations arise, they will
see your healthy side taking over and therefore demonstrating a
positive way in dealing with stress.

Everything we do, positive or negative, will somehow directly or
indirectly affect our children. There is no magic formula set up in
raising our children, but we do know that we can only do our best and
learn from what we have already done and gone through. It is only
through our actions now that our children will truly see how it is
possible to rise aboveA our addiction and continue on our road to
recovery!

Till next time I am Jess, to help you help yourself! Please e-mail me
at jesstohelpyou@gmail.com or send a letter by regular mail to Box 186
Revelstoke, BC, V0E 2S0.