BE A GOOD NEIGHBOUR, LET'S LEGALIZE CRACK HOUSES

Wow, and Vancouverites think we're weird.

In the name of all that's fair, Vancouver city council decided it's
discriminatory not to let prostitutes work out of their homes because,
after all, it's not nice to discriminate against anything anymore for any
reason whatsoever.

The most amazing selling point is - get this - the prostitutes would have
to sign a so-called "good neighbour agreement" promising they'll be, well,
good neighbours.

No doubt the taxis coming and going, taking johns to and from their door
day and night won't bother their neighbours. And neighborhood children will
be able to get a head start in street-level education without having to
venture out to the more dangerous parts of town.

Ah, enlightened Vancouver, if only Surrey were so bold, so on the edge of
all that cuts.

Maybe our civic government - if it were as clever as Vancouver's - could do
one better, and legalize Whalley's crack houses.

Just get the proprietors to sign a good neighbour agreement. It might say,
for instance, no loud music or noise after 11 p.m., and no beatings after 9
p.m.

Absolutely no overdoses allowed on the front steps - this is a strict rule
- - and, most importantly, no gunfire allowed during daylight hours.

This measure would save the police a lot of time and grief having to
enforce the law, because crack dealers will abide by the agreement once
they realize that we love their misunderstood selves.

Also, if city hall wrote up some rules allowing crack dealers to work out
of their homes, it would legitimize these businessmen and spare Mayor Doug
and crew the headache of trying to figure out ways of getting rid of them.

It'd also show the world just what a bunch of tolerant, all-inclusive,
up-to-date, progressive and happy people Surreyites are. Even more so than
Vancouverites.