MEDICAL POT IS IN A HAZE

Unless he can clear the haze, Prime Minister Jean Chretien may have to
admit that the neo-conservatives got it right. All the scientists,
bureaucrats and big thinkers on the federal payroll can't produce a product
as well as the private sector. And, try as they might, all the cabinet
ministers, press aides and highly paid consultants in Ottawa won't be able
to hide the truth: The government can't grow pot.

This will come as no surprise to the neo-cons. They don't think governments
have the ability to bring the members of a one-man band to the same event,
let alone do something as complicated as produce marijuana.

But Chretien will be shocked by the revelation that Canadians who are
legally permitted to use marijuana for medicinal purposes have such a low
opinion of government-grown pot that they are turning in their reefers and
want their money back. Just when Chretien was revealing his true self and
his faith in a plethora of government programs, he'll have to acknowledge
what the tokers are saying.

This news is bound to make Ottawa buzz. There'll be phone calls and
meetings all around the capital -- and probably a few parties at which
younger members of the prime minister's staff will have a toke or two,
purely for research purposes, of course.

Chretien might call his old friend Bill Clinton, who knows something about
marijuana, even though he did not inhale.

In their desire to enhance respect for government programs as well as to
supply those who truly do need this drug, the prime minister and the former
president could agree to form an international joint commission.

Summary - Ottawa's long list of problems now includes bad pot.