BEHIND THE BUZZ: DO THESE STREET DRUGS REALLY MAKE SEX BETTER?

LSD, Ecstasy, Steroids

LSD

HYPE: When LSD first became popular on the street, the drug was said to turn
your entire body into an erection, make sex last forever and create orgasms
that touched the cosmos.

STREET REP: After experimentation, many guys found that LSD was just as likely
to shrink your package to the size of a baby carrot--or at least make you think
it had. Sex could be cosmic or comic. Out-of-body sexual experience was an
oxymoron. Caution, kids.

HYSTERIA: Rumors circulated that a medical study had found that LSD damaged
chromosomes, leading to the idea that recreational use might leave you
resembling a character drawn by R. Crumb. Or worse.

REALITY CHECK: "The early science about the drug's causing mutations turned out
to be bogus. But the mere factoid popping up in the middle of a psychedelic
ascent could and did trigger countless bad trips," says Ethan Nadelmann, head
of the Drug Policy Alliance. In other words, the promised six-hour orgasm could
become a three-day nightmare of torturous, repetitive thoughts--such as, Oh, my
God, don't let my kids grow up to be Republicans.

MDMA

HYPE: As Jacob Sullum relates in Saying Yes: In Defense of Drug Use,
pharmaceutical giant Merck first synthesized MDMA (better known today as
ecstasy) in 1912. But it wasn't until the 1970s that MDMA became popular as a
therapeutic drug. Therapists reported that it produced feelings of euphoria and
empathy in patients and could "enhance communication and insight." A leading
proponent of the drug called it "penicillin for the soul."

STREET REP: A person who distributed MDMA on the club scene in Texas during the
1980s chose the name ecstasy because "he felt it would sell better than a drug
called empathy." The drug's street rep promised enhanced sexual pleasure. Time
quoted one source who said the experience felt like a six-hour orgasm (what the
hell is it with the six hours?), and crafty dealers started stamping white
pills with sex. Ecstasy became known as the hug drug in part because of the
feelings of affection it caused. But in many men it triggered impotence.

HYSTERIA: The Drug Enforcement Administration considers ecstasy the legal
equivalent of heroin (a Schedule I drug), invoking images of death by overdose.
Indeed, the Drug Abuse Warning Network documents a handful of MDMA-related
deaths each year.

REALITY CHECK: Ecstasy impairs the body's ability to regulate temperature.
Ravers can die from overheating and dehydration. Common sense says that to play
it safe, users should drink plenty of water, abstain from alcohol and get off
the dance floor every now and then. Ironically, the rave mantra "hydrate,
hydrate" led to deaths by water intoxication--too much water too quickly can
mess up the sodium level in your blood and cause your brain to swell. That's
not the part of your body you want to become tumescent. The guys in lab coats
have reported that ecstasy causes structural changes in the brains of raving
rats that have been forced to consume the drug for extended periods of time or
in exorbitant amounts. Studies involving humans are harder to read. One shows
impairment in current users but not former ones. Scientists have documented
decreased performance on cognitive or recall tasks executed by users. The
government crusade against ecstasy, well intentioned as it may be, obstructs
attempts to self-regulate. As it did during the 1960s, the street takes better
care of its own than the DEA does: ravers offer sample testing to weed out
counterfeit drugs, including those that may contain the potentially lethal PMA.

STEROIDS

HYPE: Steroids enhance performance, maximize the effects of workouts, cut
recovery time and turn every weekend jock into Mr. Olympia.

STREET REP: Few guys talk about the zits, the weird behavior or the sexual side
effects. There is a widely told story about a weightlifter who boasted about
his chest, biceps and calf measurements but also admitted that his testicles
had shrunk to the size of peanuts. Then there was the steroid-crazed athlete
who fucked a Coke machine.

HYSTERIA: Doctors have used steroids safely on patients since the 1930s. It is
only the specter of unsupervised use, coupled with uncorroborated anecdotal
evidence, that leads to crisis. One of the common fears is that steroid use
messes with liver function and thickens the muscles of the heart.

REALITY CHECK: Some weightlifters who use steroids have heart and liver
ailments. But a 1999 study at the University of North Texas found that steroids
were not the cause. Pump ridiculous amounts of weight even without steroids,
and you are likely to suffer liver damage and thickening of the left
ventricular wall of the heart.

Yoga, anyone? We hear it's great for sex.