POT DEBATE IS POINTLESS, BORING AND UNENDING

One is the editor-in-chief of a racy pro-marijuana magazine and the other
is a retired DEA agent. Not since that 1968 hit The Odd Couple, starring
Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau, has there been two more different people!
It is Snoop Dogg meets McGruff the Crime Dog - it is Heads vs. Feds
featuring Steven Hager of High Times Magazine and Robert Stutman, the
founder of Employee Information Services, Inc.-the nation's largest
management firm specializing in substance-abuse for employees-and they are
both coming to a college campus near you!

Am I the only person who gets bored with this debate about smoking pot?
Well, there are probably a few professors that teach Public Speaking 101
who just loathe the persuasion speech portion of the semester. If it isn't
creation vs. evolution, then there is a good chance it is marijuana
legalization.

There is just something about a Jeff Spicoli-wannabe addressing a class
about all the uses of marijuana - from medicinal purposes to that
absolutely adorable hemp jewelry - that makes me cringe. Hey Tommy Chong,
stick to kicking the hacky sack around or dancing to Widespread Panic in
your retro '60s tie-dye garb.

On the other hand, I am also tired of the damn Ad Council and the Office of
National Drug Control Policy with their outrageous scare tactics. Their
depiction of your average run-of-the-mill recreational pot smoker looks
more like a guy whacked out on industrial strength paint thinner and horse
tranquilizers. Yes, public service announcements are your tax dollars at
work. I am sure there are many young Americans saying, "I won't smoke
marijuana because I don't want my brain to look like an egg in a hot frying
pan."

I really don't have an opinion either way on the legalization of marijuana,
but if I had to pick a side, I would lean toward legalization on the sole
basis that this topic would never have to be rehashed again. Aren't there
more pressing concerns to the students of the University of South Alabama?

As for the University of South Alabama, who besides the campus police are
the staunch opponents of marijuana legalization? It seems like a non-issue
to me. Overwhelmingly, I am sure the student body wouldn't mind being able
to light up a joint. On the other hand, that would probably lead to study
sessions with bong hits because some people think they "study better" when
stoned, and thus the collective G.P.A. of the student body would likely
decrease.

People have a lot of stress these days, especially college students. Some
have to balance a job, school and a busy social life and they deserve to
blow off a little steam. If their outlet involves lighting up a doobie and
trying to see if they can synchronize The Wizard of Oz with Pink Floyd's
The Dark Side Of The Moon, more power to them. It doesn't bother me one way
or another. The "Pleasure Police" should really find another cause to save
people from themselves if this seems like such disturbing behavior to them.

Fiscally speaking, legalization would probably save the government money
fighting drugs and they could focus more of their effort fighting the more
deadly narcotics. They also could tax the hell out of marijuana like they
do with cigarettes now. It could be like the Mississippi Hope Scholarship,
but instead of funding from casinos, you could say dope paved my way
through higher academia.

If you're really a hard-core champion of this legalization cause, you
probably should look at a 12-step program because you are devoting way too
much time and energy to the usage of marijuana. This type of activism seems
to be generated by a couple of possession charges or something of a similar
nature. That's probably a sign you should cut back on your cannabis
consumption.

To make a long story short, I think this whole dog and pony show is just a
waste of time. But, then again, there are probably less worthwhile causes
to work for in your pursuit to make the world a better place, like PETA,
for example.

I guess all I can hope for is that someone just read this article
completely stoned off his or her gourd and thought it was utterly hilarious.