HE CAN ALWAYS SAY 'IT WAS THE DRUGS ...'

Well, if it wasn't racism that drove Rush Limbaugh to spout one of the most
bigoted comments of even his storied career last Sunday, then maybe it was the
OxyContin.

By now, the allegation that Rush Limbaugh is a big, fat prescription drug
junkie has supplanted the brouhaha surrounding his observations about black
quarterbacks being "media darlings" as the hot topic around office water
coolers.

Days earlier, "Ditto-heads" reflexively weighed in with condescending bravado
that their hero, though often, um, impolitic about race, surely wasn't a bigot.
Why? Because he said so, that's why.

After all the spinning they've had to do since Sunday rationalizing Rush's
comments as mainstream white opinion taken out of context, true believers are
now scrambling to defend him from charges that he's also a degenerate
pill-popper partial to a drug known on the street as "hillbilly heroin."

What's a Ditto-head supposed to think when a salt-of-the-earth newspaper like
the National Enquirer -- not some elitist rag like The New York Times -- breaks
a story about clandestine drug buys in the parking lot of a Denny's in Palm
Beach, Fla.?

According to a cover story in yesterday's New York Daily News, Rush forced his
former maid to score copious quantities of OxyContin, hydrocodone and Lorcet
from a black market drug ring in Palm Beach.

Because Wilma Cline, Limbaugh's former maid, kept a detailed ledger of the
thousands of pills she allegedly bought for him over the years and was wearing
a wire for two deliveries, there's bound to be a prosecutor or two, even in
Florida, who'll take the allegations seriously.

Among the most explosive of Cline's charges is that she scored 4,350 pills for
him in a 47-day period. If true, it would make Rush one of the great
unregistered pharmacies of the Republican Party.

For a guy who attacks the "druggy" legacy of the '60s as much as Rush does on
his syndicated radio show, the news that such a paragon of sobriety is a mere
notch or two above a low-rent crack addict is, well, startling.

The Daily News confirmed that the Palm Beach County state attorney's office is
investigating Cline's charges, including an allegation that she was paid
$120,000 in "Rush hush" money.

Curse the sordidness and duplicity of the "liberal media" for pouncing on a
story of such questionable provenance with such unabashed joy. Whatever
happened to the idea that prominent men were considered innocent until proven
guilty? What do you mean "Ask Bill Clinton?"

Oh, never mind. We all know it's impossible for a conservative white male
Christian with the normal racial hang-ups of his class to get a fair hearing in
America these days.

Still, the allegation that Rush has been "under the influence" would shine a
light on some of his more bigoted comments over the years. Maybe he doesn't
consider himself a bigot because it isn't really "him" doing the talking.

In the early '70s, Rush told a black caller to "take that bone out of your nose
and call me back." Years later, he quipped, "The NAACP should have riot
rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies."

Speaking of black leaders, Rush once opined, "Have you ever noticed how all
composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?" Hilarious
stuff, but not necessarily evidence of racism if you're high.

With his track record, who would've thunk that ESPN's Great Ratings Hope would
say something offensive about black folks a mere month into his gig as a
football commentator?

Honestly, given the volatile nexus of race and sports in America, everybody
knew it was coming. Rush was hired by the Disney-owned channel to reel in a
portion of his cantankerous radio audience. He's an affirmative action hire for
yahoos. ESPN coveted his audience demographics. It would've been irrational for
Rush not to throw some red meat their way from time to time.

The question isn't: Why did Rush say something so bigoted on ESPN?

The question is: What took him so long to get around to spouting the same
bigoted tripe on ESPN that passes for wit on his radio show every day?