MOTHER TELLS WORLD IN OBIT HOW SON DIED

It was one of the most unusual obituaries: "David Alan Stewart of San
Diego, 21, only child of Morgan Stewart of San Diego and Sander
Greenland of Topanga, died May 31st of a heroin overdose." It asked
mourners to give to organizations trying to end the war on drugs.

Having written many obituaries in my life, I like directness. But
dying of a heroin overdose? Even in the liberated language of the
Internet era, it feels brutally stark, a slap to the face.

So I called Morgan Stewart, David's mother, and asked why the obit
that she paid to put in the Mercury News - her son grew up here - was,
well, so blunt.

The answer wasn't what I expected. "It actually never occurred to me
not to do it," she told me, explaining that she had been trained as an
epidemiologist. "I've always been annoyed when I see an obituary and
not a cause of death."

And giving to organizations that want to end the war on drugs? "I've
always been a strong believer that drug policies are not just archaic,
they're making the problem a lot worse than it needs to be," Stewart
told me. "The illegal status of drugs is a tremendous boon to crime."

Reflections

An stubbornly honest woman, even about those she loves. "David wasn't
motivated and was not a high achiever," she said when I asked why her
son was attracted to heroin. "He was very intelligent, but because he
didn't apply himself, he felt he couldn't do anything well."

Then a fuller portrait emerged: The only son of divorced parents,
David grew up taking his mother's name. Between 1994 and 2002, mother
and son lived in the Bay Area, where David went to the HeadsUp!
elementary school in Palo Alto and Chaboya Middle School and Silver
Creek High School in San Jose.

He was a bright, witty and acerbic kid who loved the sea and attended
the Catalina Island sea camp for two summers. He was more than a
decent photographer, composing self-portraits with a cell phone camera.

David was also unlucky in love. While he lived in West Hollywood and
went to L.A. City College, he became enamored of a good-looking
ex-model who was also a heroin addict.

David felt more for the older woman than she felt for him. When she
went to buy drugs, he went along. His mother thinks he began using
heroin after his girlfriend died of an overdose in September 2005. His
MySpace page suggested he found the drug a way of staying close to
her.

As his mother recalls, David was a careless user and didn't pay
attention to dosages. In January, she persuaded him to try a
detoxification program that he flunked. In March, she demanded that he
leave her house when she found him high. But within a few weeks he
came back, promising to abstain from heroin and get a job.

Details of Overdose

On the morning of May 31, he came home around 4 or 4:30 a.m. Around 6,
Morgan went into his room and found him on the floor. He had no pulse.
Later, she found a colored balloon, a needle and syringe. He had used
his belt to tie off his arm.

Would the ability to buy from a safe pharmaceutical source have saved
her son? Morgan isn't sure: She says he might have gone for a long
while as a recreational user. But then, he was irresponsible, too, and
might have damaged himself.

What remains is the flinty pragmatism that masks her loss. "I think
bad things happen randomly and for no particular reason," she said as
she prepared for his funeral last weekend. "I miss David, but what's
done is done. David's friends asked for a memorial service, and it
feels right to give him a nice send-off."