BUT WOULD HE INHALE?

I held out the baggie, offering up its organic green contents. "Want
some?" I asked.

Staff writer Andrew MacLeod hesitated for a moment, then accepted,
eagerly dipping his fingers into the contents. "Smells good," he said,
sniffing the item he'd taken from the glinting plastic bag.

"Yeah," I answered. "Kind of sweet."

Now, I don't want anyone to think that every day at Monday is one big
long episode of reefer madness, so before you go assuming anything,
let me explain what's happening here this week. MacLeod and I had been
discussing his story about medical marijuana (see page 8), and
agreeing that it's high time that we took a closer look at the whole
issue of marijuana, and what you can or can't be caught doing with it
in this nearly enlightened society (see pages 8-11).

There have been plenty of jokes lately about Canadians smoking pot to
celebrate gay marriages, but unfortunately, the legislators in this
country have yet to rush to the altar for drugs that aren't produced
by big pharmaceutical companies (but just slap a brand name on those
joints and see what happens). There isn't one hard and fast rule
(other than that marijuana is still not officially legal), and even
the police are hard pressed to figure out how to deal with people who
have a joint or two in their possession (see page 8). There's little
doubt that legalization, or at least decriminalization, would simplify
things immensely for courts, police and lawyers, not to mention Joe
and Jane Victoria who just want to know if their, um, tomato plants
are still a no-no.

But there's no doubt pot is in the news. Even prime minister Jean
Chretien spoke up about it last week when he said he'd like to try a
smoke or two, after it's legal, of course. Now, I'm not going to make
any guesses about whether or not our esteemed PM ever inhaled when he
was a young, impressionable college lad--certainly he's letting us
think that this whole devil's-weed thing is new to him--but it's good
to see that even this country's top guy is in favour of mellowing out
all the fuss.

Now, I'm willing to bet that if-and-when Chretien is ever seen in
public with a reefer, television crews will all but trample each other
to capture him inhaling on camera. It's easy enough to find people who
will say they're in favour of legalizing pot, or at least
decriminalizing it, or at least getting on with more important issues
like whether or not the scungey area under their kitchen sink counts
as a protectable ecosystem. But to get them to admit to a newspaper
that they've ever inhaled, well, forget it. You're better off asking
them about the crap under their kitchen sink.

It's about time a big-name celebrity came out and did Chretien one
better by admitting that yes, they had inhaled. And liked it. And
would do it again. Marijuana needs a public champion who's famous for
other things besides smoking. Look at what Magic Johnson did for AIDS
awareness, or what k.d. lang or Ellen DeGeneres did for acceptance of
the queer community. Where's the big pothead celebrity we're all
waiting for?

I asked around to some local celebrities, politicians and the like,
hoping to find someone who would come out. No luck. Plenty said they'd
go on my "yes I inhaled" list, but didn't want their names to be put
along with it. One person said of course they had tried pot--having
lived through the 1960s and '70s, "It was not just a rite of passage,
it was a fact of life." Another local politician said "I tried it when
I was younger, but I found it made me stupid and nonparticipatory, and
I don't want to be either."

So here we are, in the year 2003, waiting for the legislators--many of
whom also lived through the '60s and '70s--to get around to making it
legal. So we can all get on to more interesting things. Like revealing
that the green stuff in the baggie was nothing more illegal than
grapes . . . which, as everyone knows, are a gateway to the harder
stuff. Like wine . . . M.