PERHAPS TALKING HEADS SHOULD BE DRUG TESTED

Not to pile on in Rush Limbaugh's time of unraveling - after all, he's
always been so compassionate regarding misfortunes of others - but recent
admissions of pain pill abuse give rise to a good question. Shouldn't talk
show hosts take drug tests?

Bus drivers do it. Widget makers and bill collectors and airplane pilots do
it. Why shouldn't opinion makers of the loud-mouthed variety take drug
tests, too? After all, who's in a position to cause more pain and suffering
than political talk-show hosts?

You're right, I should define my terms.

By pain and suffering, I'm not just referring to pain suffered in wars
promoted by talking heads who spread exaggerated claims or outright lies
about stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction and uranium deals going down
in Africa and aerial drones poised to spread anthrax in Our Town, USA.

Neither do I refer to certain talk show hosts' tendencies to repeat
innuendos that lead a majority of Americans to believe Saddam Hussein
brought down the World Trade Center.

I wouldn't dare bring up something so abstract as Limbaugh's mockery of
things like global warming - even if 20,000 or so Europeans died in heat
waves this past summer.

Nor am I speaking of certain pontificators' weird tendencies to blame trees
for forest fires or to smear opponents with words like "socialist" and
"femi-nazi" and "Stalinist" and "tree-hugger" and so forth. After all, these
are matters about which reasonable people - I use the phrase loosely - might
disagree.

No, I'm talking about the pain and suffering inflicted on people who tune in
by accident - say, during drive time. I'm convinced two minutes of Rush's
blather or Ollie North's patriotic patter or Michael Savage's non-sequiturs
are major causes of car wrecks.

Limbaugh's radio rants have prompted my wife to remark upon occasion, "He
needs to take a pill and chill." She meant it rhetorically, but turns out he
really did need to take a pill. In the worst way. He's admitted as much.

But maybe Limbaugh isn't the only one. Draw your own conclusions. I mean -
and these things really happened - when Bill O'Reilly yells, "Shut up!" over
and over at some stunned guest. Or Savage calls somebody a slut or a
communist or a nutcase. When Oliver North rails against drug dealers or
terrorists despite serious allegations that he dealt with drug runners and
terrorists during the Iran-Contra affair, it makes you wonder - maybe such
delusional talkers should be handed cups while we politely avert our ears.
It could explain a lot.

I'm not saying drugs skewed Limbaugh's thinking, but listen to the farewell
remarks he made on Oct. 10, and again, draw your own conclusions.

"You know, over the years, athletes and celebrities have emerged from
treatment centers to great fanfare and praise for conquering great demons.
They are said to be great role models and examples for others. Well, I am no
role model. I refuse to let anyone think I am doing something great here."

Un-Be-Lievable. No role model? Something great here? Sly how he plants the
seeds of how we should think of him when his obvious motivation for owning
up at all is that his maid - whom he allegedly ordered to purchase drugs on
the streets while he hid in the mansion - spilled the beans to the National
Enquirer. Just imagine what Limbaugh would say about such shenanigans in the
abstract. But then, we don't have to imagine. Here's what Limbaugh said on
Oct. 5, 1995, according to Newsday.

"And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be
accused, and they ought to be convicted, and they ought to be sent up. Too
many whites are getting away with drug use. Too many whites are getting away
with drug sales. Too many whites are getting away with trafficking in this
stuff. The answer to this disparity is not to start letting people out of
jail. The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with
it, convict them and send them up the river, too."

How's that, Limbaugh? Not a word about treatment? I wish him the best in his
quest for sobriety, I really do, because the best that could happen is for
him to have a change of heart and learn what compassion means. Imagine the
civility that might fill the air.

Don Williams is the founding editor of New Millennium Writings.