STRATFORD HIGH SCHOOL DRUG RAID A DISTURBING SCENE

Watching the news over the weekend, I was ecstatic to see videos of our
special-ops men rounding up Saddam and the last of his hellhounds. Finally.

There they were, lined up against the wall, handcuffed and staring into the
pitiless barrels of revolvers and the steely gazes of 14 of America's
toughest hombres.

Break out the Dom Perignon!

No, wait. Oh, you mean those weren't Baghdad Baathists? And those weren't
our special-ops guys?

Indeed, the incredible film -- by now familiar to most -- captured students
on their way to class and Goose Creek police officers, who, along with
police dogs, conducted a "drug sweep" at Stratford High School.

Well at least, I permitted myself to assume, there's an armed and dangerous
heroin-tipped dart blower in the supine crowd. But no, police found
nothing. Not even a joint, though police reported that their dogs found 12
book bags worthy of sustained sniffing.

"Earthy bouquet," barked Hans. "Zesty with a hint of rosemary," quipped
Fritz with characteristic irony.

But no "drogas." No marijuana. No cucaracha.

The man behind the curtain in this bad trip to the dark side of Oz was
Principal George McCrackin, who called police when he divined from watching
students via surveillance cameras that something might be, you know, "going
down."

Police already had been reviewing surveillance tapes following a student
tip about drugs on campus and were confident of drug activity, according to
Lt. Dave Aarons of the Goose Creek Police Department. Students were "posing
as lookouts and concealing themselves from the cameras."

Perhaps, though I vaguely seem to recall in high school being the sort of
excellent student and model citizen who might have mocked a camera, had
there been one, in order to give 007-McCrackin something to sweat about.

Drugs and money indeed may have been exchanged on the school's campus,
which happens far too often for any parents' peace of mind, but kids have
been known to play "let's mess with the grownups."

Since the raid last week, McCrackin has been shown on national news reports
seated at a four-panel video screen in his office where he keeps an eye on
his nefarious herd. Apparently, he saw something that looked to him like an
imminent threat of a drug transaction and placed a call to gulag
headquarters. I mean the police department.

Whereupon 14 officers responded with notable enthusiasm. They "assumed
strategic positions," and "did unholster in a down-ready position," said
Aarons.

Thankfully, no one was shot or hurt, but then neither were any drugs
confiscated. Instead, the entire exercise was a lesson in everything we
hope not to teach our children, that:

- -- School officials are not to be trusted;

- -- Police are not to be trusted;

- -- Grownups are dangerous and weird.

That's what I heard as I watched reruns with two college freshmen, and
that's what I would take away from the experience were I a Stratford student.

Disturbingly, some people weren't especially upset, much less appropriately
outraged, that children were treated like insolent Kurds during one of
Saddam Hussein's mood swings.

Some were angry, but others interviewed said they trusted officials to do
what was necessary. An Internet survey by a San Antonio, Texas, TV station
found that 33 percent of those responding thought the action was
appropriate and "it sends a strong message to students."

Yes, one could say that. Saddam's Fedayeen sent strong messages to outlaws,
too. Would that the urge to draw parallels between a totalitarian state and
a South Carolina school were impossible to justify.

I don't mean to minimize the danger of drugs in our culture, and I don't
blame school officials for taking the problem seriously. McCrackin surely
had a legitimate duty to try to stop illicit commerce on his watch.

But scaring young people to death, pointing pistols in their faces,
handcuffing them for failing to respond quickly enough defines the phrase
"over the top." McCrackin says he didn't know police would draw their guns
- -- and police were just doing their jobs -- so who's to blame? Surely someone.

What happened at Stratford is inexcusable, unacceptable and un-American.

The American Civil Liberties Union has said the raid was illegal, and the
South Carolina State Law Enforcement Division is investigating. In the
meantime, McCrackin might consider taking some R&R, and the Goose Creek
Police Department might goose-step on over to Tikrit. I hear our
special-ops guys could use some backup.