SEATTLE'S DUMBEST POTHEADS

Or, How to Get Busted, Post-I-75

By passing I-75, the initiative making marijuana possession Seattle cops'
"lowest law-enforcement priority," in September, voters handed potheads a
pass to indulge in their favorite illicit substance without police
interference. Starting in September, Seattle cops were ordered to ignore
small-time possession and only arrest dope fiends dumb enough to flaunt
their pot use in public.

By all evidence, Seattle's streets have not--contrary to some I-75
opponents' claims--been overrun with zonked-out hippies in VW buses
veering, bong in hand, into oncoming traffic. In fact, since the initiative
passed in September, just nine pot busts have gone to City Attorney Tom
Carr's office for prosecution. Which raises the inevitable question: Just
how dumb do you have to be to get arrested for pot in post-I-75 Seattle?
Four of Seattle's stupidest potheads--either prosecuted or busted
post-I-75-- provide answers and a few cautionary lessons.

Lesson 1: If you're going to sell pot-laced goodies, don't do it in front
of the SPD.

An SPD sergeant was strolling through Myrtle Edwards Park when he noticed a
young man distributing suspiciously green-tinted Rice Krispies treats from
a plastic container. Upon investigating the man's knapsack, the sergeant
found several containers filled with pot-laced cookies, Rice Krispies bars,
and a "suspected bud of marijuana." As an exasperated Carr notes: "What's
he going to do? There was a crime being committed right in front of him!"
The suspect, who had a DJ gig to get to, was arrested and later released.

Lesson 2: Don't turn your car into a roving drug market.

Late one night in the 2000 block of East Denny Way, cops came upon a
late-model Oldsmobile parked in the middle of the street with a small crowd
attempting to approach it. When the officers put on their sirens, the
suspect abandoned his car, ignoring the officers' order to stop. When
officers finally apprehended the suspect, they confiscated nine Ziploc
baggies full of pot--a violation of the suspect's state prison parole.

Lesson 3: Don't be a gang member. Having a record (or outstanding warrant)
dramatically ups your chances of being booked, especially if you do
something suspicious--like, say, running and hiding on a porch. One such
suspect, a known gang member who was initially found drinking a can of
Steel Reserve on Rainier Avenue South, did exactly that. She was caught and
arrested for drinking in public. Once she was in the back seat of the
patrol car, the gang member began making "furtive, digging movements" in
the back of her pants, which led to a strip search and the recovery of
about $20 worth of pot.

Lesson 4: Don't try to sneak drugs into jail. The award for Seattle's
dumbest pot smoker goes to the woman who tried to visit a friend in county
jail, with pot in her backpack. This story came straight from an
incredulous Carr, who says the visitor tried to sneak through security with
a bag of weed. Officers, who search all bags going into the jail, noticed
the smell of marijuana wafting from the woman's backpack, and quickly found
the pot that was producing the telltale odor.