WELCOME, STUDENTS, TO STALAG THIRTEEN

"I'll utilize whatever forces I deem necessary to keep this campus safe and
clean ... I'm sure it was an inconvenience to those individuals who were in
the hallway, but there is a valuable experience there."

- --George McCrackin, principal of Stratford High School in Goose Creek

When I saw the videotape of armed police officers waving their loaded guns
at the heads of cowering high schoolers at Stratford High School in Goose
Creek, my first thought was, 'George McCrackin must be in heaven right
now.' I know 'Goose-Steppin' George' from my days as a talk host on WSC in
Charleston. He became part of the Michael Graham Experience by kicking
honor students out of school because they didn't have their shirts tucked
in. No, that's not a joke ... not an intentional one, anyway. George
McCrackin is the kind of bureaucrat who believes that stupidity in the
pursuit of order is no vice. In his universe, an exposed shirttail is a
flag of rebellion, an ominous sign of impending anarchy, mob violence and
the reading of unauthorized literature.

Rumor has it that at one point McCrackin wanted a school uniform policy at
Stratford, but he couldn't find enough brown shirts or red armbands. How
absolutely in his element he must have been on that fateful morning,
monitoring the 70(!) surveillance cameras he uses to spy on his students,
as the Goose Creek police moved into to roust the unsuspecting teens.
According to media reports, McCrackin himself watched as the students
assumed what he called 'their usual positions' before personally signaling
the officers to spring their trap. McCrackin even patted down some of the
suspects and questioned them about the money in their pockets. If only
Berkeley County had given him a riding crop and let him throw a few kids to
'The Hole,' George McCrackin would be the happiest man on earth.

Of course, he didn't act alone. In order to put the children of Berkeley
County in real danger, McCrackin needed the cooperation of poorly led
police officers with a near-criminal lack of judgment: enter the Goose
Creek Police Department.

The Goose Creek cops defend their decision to aim loaded weapons at unarmed
school kids by insisting that, theoretically, there could have been some
sort of danger, even though they had no evidence or reports of potential
violence. 'Anytime you have qualified information regarding drugs and large
amounts of money, there's a reasonable assumption weapons are involved,'
Lt. Dave Aarons said.

The argument is undermined by the fact that no drugs or money were found.
The Goose Creek police: too dumb to catch you, just dumb enough to shoot you.

And would it be rude to point out that there is a theoretical danger of
running into a weapon virtually anywhere the police go? What, do the Goose
Creek cops kick in the door of the Dunkin' Donuts with their guns out, too?
When George McCrackin and the cops defend their gun-slinging as 'zero
tolerance,' the only response is laughter: The same people who would kick
out a Stratford senior for brandishing a plastic spork in the cafeteria are
now waving loaded weapons in the halls. There is only one response a
rational adult can have to the images of this idiotic police behavior we
saw on our TV screens, and that is outrage ' pure and unbounded. Why then
is there so little of it? Because we're not talking about rational adults.
We're talking about South Carolinians. The people of South Carolina never
met a kid who couldn't use a swift kick in the britches. So what if they
got a gun in the face. Do 'em some good! What did George McCrackin call it
' a 'valuable experience?' Damn straight!

'I'm sure students were frightened, but the harm they're in with drug
dealers is far greater than the police coming in,' said one Goose Creek
mother, seemingly unaware that no druggies were caught. 'I trust them to do
what's right,' she said. Even when it's obviously wrong. Another local
woman called a Lowcountry radio show to say the raid would have been
justified even if one of the students had been shot. How little these
parents must think of their children. I imagine for a moment that it was my
child crouched on the floor, one slight finger movement away from death '
all for no good reason ' and I burn with anger. I try to imagine what this
principal and his police officers would say if it were their sons and
daughters literally under the gun. It wasn't, of course. It never would
have been. Yes, George McCrackin's two children attend Stratford, but like
most of the students at Stratford, they're white. The vast majority of the
kids rousted in the hall were black.

And so it goes ... With no drugs, no arrests and facing an avalanche of
well-deserved lawsuits, Berkeley County and the cops have fallen back to
the lamest of defenses: that the raid was worth it no matter what the
consequences because it 'sent a message' to the students.

It sure did. They know now beyond a reasonable doubt that the people in
authority over them are both dangerous and stupid. And given their parents'
support for these two principles, there are few prospects that conditions
will change any time soon.