MEDICAL MARIJUANA'S SIDE EFFECT: FEAR

Md. Patients Desperate for Relief From Symptoms Worry About Arrest, Image

Joan Holland's pain finally received a name in 1988, the summer she
went to the beach with her husband and two little girls and kept
getting knocked over by the waves. It was diagnosed as multiple sclerosis.

Over the years, the retired schoolteacher has tried seemingly
everything, from the traditional to the admittedly wacky, to find even
a little bit of comfort.

She had her mercury fillings removed from her teeth, after learning
they might be linked to autoimmune problems. She got treatment in a
hyperbaric chamber, after hearing that a man in Florida may have
quelled his symptoms with extra oxygen infusions. For two years, she
even kept a beehive in her Jessup back yard and subjected herself to
three dozen bee stings three times a week, feeling the venom gave her
more mobility.

Now, at age 57, Holland is trying something she never thought she
would: marijuana.

She is one of the hidden legions of the chronically ill who use the
illegal drug to ease their pain, to help them sleep, to soothe their
nausea just enough so they can keep food down. The drug, classified
legally the same way as heroin, is not approved for any of those uses.

This year, Maryland legislators passed a law to reduce penalties for
those caught using marijuana for medical purposes. Though still
opposed by many who think the state has gone too far toward making
marijuana legal, the law isn't a panacea for people like Holland -
those for whom it was designed to help the most. If she is caught with
marijuana, she is breaking the law. She can be arrested. She can be
prosecuted. And if a judge doesn't believe her story, she can be jailed.

Forced to 'Sneak'

"We're in a better situation than we were, but we're not home free
yet," she said. "It's still requiring that you sneak around and hide."

Possession of marijuana remains illegal under federal law, and Holland
fears constantly that the Drug Enforcement Administration will knock
on her door. Dr. Andrea Barthwell, deputy director for demand
reduction at the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy,
rejects the term "medical marijuana," instead calling it "medical
excuse marijuana." She says those who push for laws like Maryland's
are "feeding off the pain and suffering of people" in pursuit of their
real goal: complete legalization of marijuana.

"There's no basis in medical [knowledge] for taking a crude plant
material and providing it as medicine," she said. "It has not passed
the test of having medicinal value. ... You've created a system where
a skinned knee and a tennis elbow will be presented in a court of law
to explain marijuana use."

State Sen. David R. Brinkley, a Republican who represents Frederick
and Carroll counties and one of the main sponsors of the bill, said
the current law was the only compromise that would satisfy those
legislators who refused to pass anything to contradict federal law -
despite laws in several other states that do just that.

"The minute that the federal government changes its stance, we can be
a little more selective about what we do," said Brinkley, a cancer
survivor. But, he conceded, "you're crawling."

"You've got to crawl before you can walk before you can jog before you
can sprint."

It's unclear if anyone has used the law - which went into effect Oct.
1 - as a defense. Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. signed the legislation
after intense lobbying from the White House and others to veto it.

Many people remain afraid to talk publicly about their use of the
drug. One man with a serious nerve disorder said he didn't want to
give his name because his parents don't know he has turned to it. One
with multiple sclerosis said he wanted to talk but works for the
federal government - which is a drug-free work zone.

'I Was Desperate'

Lawrence Silberman, 52, has been in remission from cancer - in his
case, non-Hodgkin's lymphoma - for going on 18 months. But when he was
the sickest, on chemotherapy, wired on steroids, he couldn't sleep. He
would wake up after an hour or so in bed feeling as if he had
swallowed a pot of espresso. Someone suggested he try marijuana.

"I would go downstairs around 11 o'clock," said the Burtonsville
carpenter. "I would stand on the toilet, turn on the exhaust fan and
take one or two puffs on the marijuana and blow it into the exhaust
fan."

He felt like a teen-ager, sneaking around, but he had teen-agers in
the house.

"I didn't want to be flagrant. I was desperate," he said. "People have
kids who turn them in, for goodness' sake."

When Silberman would go for chemotherapy, which would take up to four
hours, he would talk with other patients receiving theirs. And talk
sometimes turned to the benefits they were feeling from using
marijuana. "We were all in the same boat," he said. "Those aren't
people who are going to be lying to each other."

Lacks Safe, Legal Source

He sees the law as a first step, but he thinks more could be done. For
example, there is no safe way for patients to buy the drug, as there
is in some states where medical marijuana is legal. He and others must
turn to college kids, to the streets, to any number of dangerous ways
to obtain what they want.

Still, he said, "I don't think you're afraid of going to jail when
you've got cancer. It's like 12th on your list."

Holland, a warm woman with an inviting smile and wire-rimmed glasses,
said she took her first puff this year, when it became clear that the
legislature was inclined to move closer to making medical marijuana
legal.

She had never considered using it until last year, when she and her
husband, Tom, went to Annapolis as part of a group lobbying for
similar legislation that didn't pass. They heard the testimony of many
others - a cancer patient, a young man with Crohn's disease - who
swore by their marijuana.

Research Continues

There is conflicting science on how and if marijuana eases symptoms;
the Food and Drug Administration does not recognize any benefits.
Research is being done on the chemical components of marijuana to see
if there are legitimate uses for it, Barthwell said.

Multiple sclerosis, a neurological disorder that can manifest itself
in many ways, including numbness and paralysis, is a disease whose
progression is hard to quantify. Holland knows she has felt better, in
small ways, since she began smoking marijuana.

She has more energy - she used to be so exhausted by the time she put
dinner on the table that she couldn't eat. She can lift her legs a
little higher. Her handwriting, once so beautiful, deteriorated to the
point of illegibility; now it can be read again. She even feels like
working in the garden.

"Something is doing a lot to help me feel like participating in life,"
she said.

'Nation of Laws'

At the same time, she worries about what her daughters - now 18 and 21
- - might think, that she could be sending them mixed messages while
telling them drugs are bad and then lighting up. When she taught
ninth-graders in Prince George's County, her course, Contemporary
Issues, covered the court system, the legal system, "living in our
society."

"I was always a super-patriot," she said. "I thought: 'This is a great
country.' I take it very seriously. We are a nation of laws, not a
nation of men."

Now, after all of her preaching and teaching, she finds it hard to
believe that she violates the law every day.

"I don't think they're going to put me in jail," Holland said. "I
don't think they will. I hope that's not being too optimistic."