TALKING IS A LEARNING PROCESS

Picture this: You're driving your child home one afternoon and she turns to
you and asks, "Mom, did you ever use marijuana when you were a kid?"

Or, your helping out with your child's homework and he asks, "Dad, did you
smoke pot when you were in high school?"

These are the kinds of situations that many parents hope to avoid. But that
is an unrealistic view to hold. Youngsters are inquisitive. They want
answers to difficult questions in their lives.

If you are a parent, you are going to have to face up to questions like
this sometime. And your answers are going to have a bearing on how your
child views the issue.

Unless the answer is an unequivocal "No," it may be difficult to know what
to say.

How honest should you be?

Dr. Phillipe Cunningham, a family therapist at the Medical University of
South Carolina, recommends an honest answer when a child asks about your
past otherwise you risk losing credibility with your kids.

"This doesn't mean you should recount every detail of your high school or
college years," explained Dr. Cunningham. "Use it as an opportunity to talk
with your child. Kids can learn a lot from their parents' experiences."

What if your child thinks that since you admitted to using marijuana and
you've grown up just fine, it is okay for them to use marijuana too?

The fact is, we all want what's best for our children. Marijuana is more
potent than it was a generation ago and more kids are are using it at a
younger age, when their bodies and minds are developing.

We also know much more about the real risks of marijuana use thanks to new
research.

You can also draw upon real-life examples of friends who had trouble as a
result of marijuana use, such as a friend who may have lost interest in
school or failed to get a scholarship or caused a car crash while under the
influence of drugs.

What if you are afraid of sounding like a hypocrite?

"Do as I say, not as I do," has never been a good method of parenting. You
can emphasize that this discussion about your child's future, and not about
your past. Even if you made mistakes in the past, be clear that you do not
want your child to repeat them.

Most importantly, remember that when your child asks you about your past,
he or she has just opened a door for an ongoing dialogue about drugs. Use
this opportunity to talk to them about making good choices. Studies show
that parents are the single most powerful influence on their children's
decisions about drug use.

Research affirms that parents who are involved and talk to their kids about
these important issues are more likely to keep their kids away from drugs.

For more information, please call Fort Alcohol and Drug Services at (250)
996-8411.

If you would like more tips on communication and parenting, visit
www.TheAntiDrug.com, a web site designed to help parents help kids stay
safe and drug free.