Series: 11 Of 16

PARENTS' PROBLEM

An old saying is, "When children are little, they step on the feet of their
parents. As they get older, they step on their hearts." Raising children
can be an enjoyable time for parents, but at the same time, it can be
difficult.

It is even more difficult if a child becomes involved in drugs.

Such is the case with one family in St. Clair County, who for the past six
to seven years has had to deal with its oldest son being a drug addict.

The son, identified as John Doe to protect his privacy, became addicted to
drugs between the ages of 13 and 14.

His parents had no idea and thought it would never happen to John, who was
always nice and polite as a young child and who had been popular in
elementary school and the church he grew up in.

John's father said he first noticed a change in his son when he would come
in and go straight to his bedroom.

"He didn't talk to no one and became withdrawn, especially from me and his
mother," he said. "John did not have much of an appetite and I could tell
he was losing a little weight."

John's mother noticed a change in her son when he met some new friends as
he started seventh-grade. It was youths she had never seen before.

"It appeared he did not want to hang around the friends he knew as a
child," she said, fighting back tears. "He shunned some of them, and they
were not coming over to the house as often as they used to. He went from
being a straight-A student to a kid that was bringing home D's and C's."

Mr. Doe said no one in their family smokes, so it was easy to detect the
smell of someone smoking cigarettes when his son was at home.

"From what I can gather, it all started when he sneaked around with friends
and started smoking cigarettes and it then turned to smoking marijuana," he
said. "John had a complete attitude change. He went from being very
outgoing to wanting to seclude himself from the family.

"I used to walk into his bedroom and it was a typical boys room with the
baseballs, footballs, posters of all kind of professional ball players
among other items."

Mr. Doe said he went into his son's room one day and saw a picture of some
marijuana leaves hanging up. When he questioned his son, he just shrugged
his shoulders and left the room.

"Later, I found some matches and some rolling papers and knew something was
up and something was wrong," he said.

As time went on and John got older and deeper into his problem, Mr. Doe
found some empty pill bottles with no names or labels on them.

At first, his parents tried talking with their son to find out what was
going on, who he was hanging out with and what was his reasoning concerning
the changes in his life.

"I wanted to know why he was choosing this particular path he was headed
down," Mr. Doe said. "It seemed like every time we talked, we would get in
this huge argument. We grounded him and punished him, but nothing seemed to
work."

By the time John was old enough to drive, he started staying out later and
later and his drug problem got worse.

"We worried whether he would even come home at night or even if he would
make it home safe," Mr. Doe said.

Once it was suspected John was using drugs, his parents sought professional
counseling. Counseling helped some but their son's problem did not go away.
His parents' fear of him becoming involved with illegal prescription drugs
that are so readily available to teenagers rose tremendously.

After doing everything they could for John without anyone knowing the
situation, his parents, desperate for help, decided to file a petition in
juvenile court.

Possession of marijuana, even for juveniles, is against the law.

"Even though I hesitated at first, I know juvenile court is what's best for
us," Mr. Doe said. "We can give John the best help in the world but he
first has to realize he needs help."

At the age of 18, John was arrested for possession of marijuana in the
second degree. He was fined $500, given a suspended sentence and had to
perform more than 100 hours of community service. If he is arrested again,
it will be a felony.

Today, John is almost 20 years old. He barely made it through high school
and had no ambition of going to college. He has moved out of his parents'
home and moved in with a friend.

Because of his conviction, John is having a hard time finding work. He has
had several odds and ends jobs but nothing steady.

His parents do not know if he has kicked the drug problem.

Mrs. Doe admits this is something she thought she would never have to face.
She also admits that she and her husband were not well educated on
recognizing drug use because it is something they never experienced.

"I'm not very happy with the friend he is living with but there is nothing
I can do," John's mother said. "He is a grown man and I pray for him every
day. I pray that my other two children, who are younger than John, do not
go through anything like this ever. I will do everything in my power to
keep them away from drugs because they are so dangerous. The past seven
years have been a nightmare for me."

Charon Douglass is the prevention coordinator at Caradale Lodge, a
substance abuse program provided by Cheaha Mental Health Center.

Douglass said parents can always contact that agency.

"We provide treatment, education, information and referrals on all
substance abuse issues," Douglass said. "We have a staff of trained
counselors who are able to provide these services."

Douglass also said SAFE Family Services Center in Sylacauga has a program
called Turning Point that provides self-help groups for parents and their
children. They come and participate together and they cover substance abuse
issues.